


before the farewell

by chibyeol (minitala)



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Epistolary, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Post-Canon, also gen/someone else, dont worry, hints of senkuu/someone else for a bit there, like probably, or so he thought, this will be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minitala/pseuds/chibyeol
Summary: On the dawn of April 2, 5747, Asagiri Gen leaves the Kingdom of Science to travel the world. Or so he says. Running away from a broken heart just seemed too poetic for a calculating mentalist.Five years later, Ishigami Senku follows the trail he left behind because he isn't afraid to chase after what he wants.-Asagiri Gen could not quite let go of his greatest love, so he writes him letters he will never send instead. Ishigami Senku isn't perfect, trial-and-error is of course the theme of science, but that doesn't mean he won't try to fix his mistakes.
Relationships: Asagiri Gen/Ishigami Senkuu
Comments: 147
Kudos: 503
Collections: The Great Reads





	1. tears that are concealed

**Author's Note:**

> This quarantine I had the unfortunate realization that I would die for Dr. STONE. Particularly for SenGen, but then again, wbk trololololol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asagiri Gen writes letters he will never send, if only to free himself from the chains that hold him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO DID SOMEONE SAY SENGEN ANGST AHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> (its me, i said it)
> 
> Hello Dr. Stone fandom! One day I was writing a fic for another fandom but then I opened a new doc and finished this fic for absolutely no reason other than it won't leave me alone! I'm not quite satisfied with how I write Gen but bear in mind he's like, 30?? in this fic.
> 
> I promise I'll do better with writing our boys! Hope you enjoy anyway!

_March 20, 5747_

My dearest Senku-chan,

You’re ridiculous, you know that? It’s _your_ bachelor party, _you_ should be the one receiving gifts. And you dare ask if you finally scored a victory over a great mentalist like myself by surprising me with a _notebook_?

I should laugh.

But I thank you for this gift, I shall cherish it always as I travel this world you have built. In these pages I will write the words I want to tell you. Words that I can never say now.

The truth is, my dearest Senku, you have scored your greatest victory over me so many years ago, when I was still newly reawakened, stumbling in this stone world. The day you wrote April 1, 5738 on that tree near the Cave of Miracles, you have already stolen my most protected possession - and I could not have even known it at the time!

You are an amazing and admirable person, my dear Senku-chan. The world is so very lucky to have you, as I was.

I am so very sad to let you go.

Always yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_April 9, 5747_

My dearest Senku-chan,

It has been a week since I left the Kingdom of Science behind. I have been wanting to write something since the day I walked away from you, but there are only so many letters these pages could hold.

The wedding was beautiful even if you were scowling all the while. You could never understand the necessity of frivolity and ceremony, can’t you? I was always the one to remind you that simple pleasures such as these can be beneficial, too. That is, back when the Kingdom of Science was still so small.

I had been so proud of being your equal at that time, someone who can understand what you were thinking or what you needed without you saying anything at all. Am I not the greatest mentalist who ever lived? Thank you, I will accept your begrudging applause.

Still, when I told you I would be leaving at first light, I was not expecting you to be there to send me off. It was your wedding night after all. I take it even Kohaku herself wanted to see me off as well, if her crushing hug was any indication - I miss her so much too, our miss lioness.

I know I don’t have to ask but will you take care of them for me, Senku-chan? Will you please make sure Kohaku does not work Kinrou and Ginrou to the bone? Will you guide Chrome and Ruri through that increasingly oblivious dance of theirs? Will you keep Taiju, Yuzuriha, and their little girl well and safe?

Will you make sure Kaseki gets rest and keep him company for the rest of his days? Will you watch over Mirai as Tsukasa travels Japan with Ryusui, Francois, and Ukyo? Will you please tell our precious Suika that I cherish the shell anklet she gave me and tell her I promise I’m always wearing my shoes?

You laugh, I know. The most selfish man in the world, caring for others rather than himself? The truth is, I have come to love this little family of ours, but still, I remain selfish. Otherwise, I would have been just as happy to stay and w ~~atch the love of my life be happy with someone els~~ e.

No, it is precisely because I am selfish that I must go.

Ah, I almost forgot! Dearest Senku-chan, you must take care of yourself as well! You must remember to eat and take breaks. Keep a blanket in the lab at all times, you always fall asleep suddenly on your feet! And don’t keep on staying up late either, you have a family to come home to now. Remember to talk to our friends, their ideas are just as good as yours, you know?

I miss you all, Senku-chan. But I miss you most of all.

Always yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_June 12, 5747_

My dearest Senku-chan,

I don’t know what I was expecting when I landed on the Kingdom of Rubber but I forgot how unforgiving the summers are in the tropical islands. Wearing my haori in this climate will make me suffer from heat stroke one day.

The Kingdom is prospering, beautifully so, I must say. Our friends have taken to agriculture well and have since re-established fruit orchards and sprawling rice paddies. You would be proud, ~~my love~~ I’m sure.

Since I arrived here I have been feasting on their harvest and honestly, I am enjoying my stay here even with the dreadful heat. They invited me to remain until next spring when planting will start. And be asked to help? Absolutely not.

I am leaving in a fortnight, headed to Central Asia for the Kingdom of Mathematics. They promise to throw a festival in my honor when I leave. Really, these people are so sweet.

I would say I am sad to go but none could still compare to the pain of leaving you behind.

Always yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_July 21, 5747_

My dearest Senku-chan,

I am halfway to the Kingdom of Mathematics. I think. I believe I may have gotten a little lost.

Provisions should last me enough for another two weeks but honestly? I’m not exactly optimistic. Is this where the great Asagiri Gen meets his end? How tragic.

I am lying down and staring at the stars right now. The moon is full tonight. It’s unbelievable how we flew all the way there and fought our once mysterious Why-man. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? That the beautiful moon could have hidden such malicious intent, it still shocks me a little bit.

Did you know, I have never, not even in my wildest imaginings, ever thought I would go to space. And yet, because of you, I have touched the stars.

What was it you told me? That we are all made of star-stuff?

It’s hard to believe that now when I’m lying alone and cold. Do you never get these thoughts? How your life could be so small in the face of how big the world and the universe turns out to be?

Of course you don’t. You’re _Senku-chan_. Anything bigger than you are is simply something for you to conquer with the power of science.

Is that why I’m so attracted to you, I wonder? To me, you were always this bright shining star, someone capable of even the most impossible things.

Senku-chan, if we are all made of star-stuff, then you are made of the brightest and most brilliant star-stuff the universe has.

And I love you for that.

There, I said it. I might die in the next few days. I would at least get that off my chest.

I love you, Senku-chan, wholly, undeniably, always.

Forever yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_August 4, 5747_

Senku-chan,

I’m not dead.

For all my dramatics, I can’t believe my luck. Of course, I'm not _you._ A passing caravan between the Asian cities headed to the Kingdom of Mathematics passed by poor ol’ me, starving and dehydrated a week after that last letter.

I can’t believe what I wrote, I must have already been halfway delusional then. I won’t cross out entire pages of useless ramblings though. I know how precious paper has become in this world.

What I said was true. _Is_ true. At least now, I can be honest with myself about it, keeping it a secret for so long. Even though so many people picked up on it in the Kingdom of Science.

Whatever.

I’m suddenly so bone tired Senku-chan!! I miss cola! I miss ramen! I miss Suika and the kids. I miss Tsukasa humming, Taiju yelling, Kaseki and Chrome’s excitement. I miss everyone. I miss home.

I miss _you_.

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have come with the caravan. Well, I’m here now, aren't I? Might as well stay until the end of winter and see where that takes me.

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_January 4, 5748_

Dearest Senku-chan,

Happy birthday!

I’m reminiscing about that first birthday of yours that we spent together. I can’t believe you would have thought we would betray you like that!! Even now, it hurts my heart to remember.

But you know the best part of that night? The moment the blindfold was taken off and the look on your eyes as you saw the telescope. I have never, not since then, forgotten how your eyes looked.

So ~~metimes I wished you would look at me the same way -~~

The telescope must be so primitive now, compared to what we have been able to achieve. I wonder if you’ve taken it down already to make room for something else. I was always wondering when you would do that.

Whatever takes it place, I’m sure it’ll be more amazing because _you_ made it. That’s just who you are, my love.

I hope you are warm and surrounded by our friends today.

All my love,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_April 11, 5748_

My dearest Senku-chan,

It’s been several months since I last wrote to you. I’ve been busy to be honest. The Kingdom of Mathematics has grown bigger since we established it and there are so many other attractions there now.

Did you know they built an amusement park? I was beside myself with excitement!

The best part? They built a theatre! It’s so beautiful!! They asked me to put on shows and I happily obliged. Nothing still makes man speechless the way a good magic trick does - not that you would agree of course. Magic was nothing more than an annoyance for you, something to be conquered by science.

Ah but my dear Senku-chan, for the ordinary citizen, for the children, and for the believers, it’s still the closest they can get to achieving fantasy. To see what they can only imagine happen, even if it isn’t real. Because all the books and films and shows and video games are gone, it seems it falls to us to recreate imaginative fancy.

Now let me tell you the actual best part: the theatre they built in the Kingdom of Mathematics is just a copy of the one in Southern Europe! Can you believe it? They made an entire city dedicated to art in what was previously Italy!

I am on my way there right now. According to the group I am traveling with, we are about halfway through our trip, somewhere in southern Switzerland.

Humans are such wonderful things, aren’t they, Senku-chan? Love of art lives on in the artisans we have revived. Come to think of it now, maybe that’s always been one of your goals all along.

We did talk about that, didn’t we? Well, we actually had a debate about it. But you agreed with me that art is a necessary part of life. You _agreed_! Do you know how stunned I was? I don’t know if it showed in my face because you just walked off.

I’m so excited to see this city they have built and teach them what I know of the technology you’ve developed to preserve it.

I miss you more and more each day.

All my love,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_April 27, 5748_

My dearest Senku-chan,

The Kingdom of Art went beyond my expectations! Theaters! Festivals! Street dancing! Museums! Musicians busking everywhere! I’ve only been here two days, but there’s still so much to see!

My trade of entertainment is alive in this city! Oh, I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a while. To be honest, I didn’t think I would be happy again when I left Japan.

Your reputation precedes you and it accompanies me here in this strange Kingdom people have built on their own. Even now, you are here with me.

I think I shall enjoy my time here and stay a while. The world you built is a wonderful place, Senku-chan. My only wish is that I could’ve experienced this journey with you.

I miss you always.

All my love,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_June 8, 5749_

My love, Senku,

I could not stay there anymore. It’s been a wonderful year with the artisans but something happened. I suppose if there’s somewhere I could safely tell you about it, it would be here.

There was a boy. He was enthusiastic about his craft but still aloof and extremely sarcastic. Spending time with him was beyond fun, considering he could keep toe to toe with me in a battle of wits. It scared me, how much he reminded me of you.

So I kept my distance. We remained friends, close friends. I would spend the night sometimes in his studio as we would talk into the morning. He would attend all my shows, critique my performance, and not in a bad way. Every single time, he would be ready with a flower, a different one each night.

I’m not stupid you know? I know what all of them meant, what he was trying to say. Lily of the Nile, asters, daisies, peach blossoms, fleur-de-lis, red and pink camellias, forget-me-nots, gardenias, primroses, _tulips_. But I only smiled and played the fool.

He was lovely. So, so lovely. And so patient. I believe I could have loved him, if I only let myself.

But every time I look at him, I see you. I see you and I feel the acute loss of the love I left behind in Japan. I can’t do that, not to him, not to this ghost of you I see in him. I thought I could get away with it.

Can you believe it? What happened? He tricked me into revealing my _birthday_. And on the day, he presented me with his greatest masterpiece. A portrait of me, surrounded by all the flowers he gave me. Even with his beautiful heart laid bare for me, all I could think of is that damned telescope I asked the villagers to build for you all those lifetimes ago.

So I told him everything. We cried, we laughed. Do you know what he told me?

“I am only letting you go because I know how terribly painful it is to love someone so dearly and tenderly, in the same way he can only ever love someone else.”

Ouch?

I won’t lie, he hit the nail right in the head. The following day, I made preparations to leave Florence. I booked passage for Casablanca before I set sail for Brazil. He saw me off at the port. He had a bouquet of zinnias and _sweet peas_ ready. He’s really out to hurt me!

But what is a mentalist if not prepared? In exchange, I gave him irises.

In another life, perhaps, I could have given him something like jonquils or even violets. In this one, I found the courage to kiss him goodbye. Even then, all I could think of was how I could never have done that with you.

Life is so cruel, isn’t it, Senku-chan?

Maybe in another life, Tsukasa-chan had not chosen me to spy on you. Maybe I would have been happier as an eroded stone. But then, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet and help you achieve your lofty goals and greatest dreams.

If only I could have the greatest adventure of my life and endure the pain that came with it. In the end, I can only wish.

My ship sails for the Kingdom of Superalloys tomorrow and all I could think of is how I am now halfway to my return to you.

Faithfully yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_September 1, 5749_

My dearest Senku-chan,

If my handwriting is shaky it's because I am writing to you right now as I fly to the Kingdom of Corn. It's scarcely been a week since I arrived in Brazil when guess who visited me?

Our old friend Stan!

He's still beautifully smug as always, claiming Xeno had known I booked a ship to Brazil. They wanted me to come stay with them! Apparently my adventures have come to our scientist friend's (or rival, as in your case) attention!

Xeno and Stanley have always been two of the more interesting people we've met in our journey. Too bad we stopped by the US first and we had to cut our stay with them short to proceed to all these other places we had to be.

Stanley tells me they've established a railroad and we could go on tour via plane or train, whatever I want! I told you I had toured the US before, right? It feels so much like a homecoming that, as you would say, this excites me.

I can only wish to know what it would feel like to come home to you. Maybe someday I'll stop thinking about it and enjoy these moments of my life, too.

Forever yours,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_September 14, 5749_

Dearest Senku,

Xeno has made great progress in the Kingdom of Corn - he detests that by the way, he calls it the Real Kingdom of Science. Still our favorite asshole through and through.

Needless to say, I have defended the honor of our home on your behalf.

..

~~\--~~

-. ~~\--~~

-

-

-

_September 21, 5749_

Dearest Senku,

Sorry about that, had a little breakdown after I wrote that last sentence. Unfortunately, I fell asleep in Xeno’s astronomy tower and caught a little bit of a cold. Good thing Stanley found me in the morning. Some of the Americans have taken turns checking up on me and feeding me soup.

It’s quite the life I tell you, if only Xeno hadn’t quarantined me so the cold won’t spread.

I wonder, Senku-chan, if I sent word to the Kingdom of Science (the REAL one) would you and the rest come running on my behalf? Like what you did last time?

I still remember how safe I felt once I saw your ridiculous leek hair. I knew, when I saw you, that we would succeed. It’s terrifying isn’t it? To have that much faith in someone. And yet, that day, I did and I knew then, that to me, I will not be home unless you are there, too.

Ah. What am I saying? I left that life behind.

This is who I am now. Asagiri Gen, once one of the Five Generals of the Kingdom of Science, now traveling magician and erstwhile mentalist. How the mighty have fallen indeed.

Tell me, Senku-chan, how is home? Do you have children yet? Are you teaching them the ways of a scientist the way you did with Chrome? Have you achieved impossible things?

Is Tsukasa home? Is Ryusui still alive after dealing with Tsukasa for that long? Is Ukyo well for that matter? I can’t imagine having to deal with those two while on the road could be good for anyone. Good thing they have Francois.

I miss home, Senku-chan. But I will try to find it elsewhere now.

Always,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_October 10, 5749_

Dearest Senku-chan,

I’m sorry. I’m trembling so hard, my handwriting must be awful.

Somehow Stanley and Xeno had this fantastic idea that what could help me feel better after that bout with the cold was to hear your voice.

Senku-chan, this is the first time I’ve heard your voice in two years.

I had to hold my tears in. It was so damn difficult. I could hardly hear you over how much your voice was breaking because of the poor connection. But I held on to it. So tight. I almost broke Xeno’s receiver.

My love, my love, _my love_. I miss you so much!

I miss you so so much.

I’m sorry I could never say this to you. I’m sorry I never told you I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help but bring my walls up the moment I heard your voice coming through that receiver.

I’m glad you are well. I’m happy you are thriving. It’s too bad I couldn’t talk with everyone else because an entire ocean separates us and it messes up our communications.

I promise I will thrive, too. This is my home now, the world you built. I promise I will be happy too.

Always,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_February 22, 5750_

Dearest Senku-chan,

It’s been four months since that disaster of a phone call. After what happened, Xeno has told me you’ve tried to make contact again but I was always out on the field, or exploring San Francisco. I hope you won’t be mad, but I asked him to say that on my behalf.

I don’t think I can bear hearing your voice and not immediately ask Stanley to fly me over to Japan. It’s physically painful, is what it is.

So I spend my days outside, and if you call when you know it’s nighttime, I have Xeno tell lies for me. I’m so sorry.

Stanley has asked me if I wanted to fly across the many states, see the sights, and help the rebuilding efforts when spring comes.

I think I will take him up on that offer, if only to be away from the stupid phone. You don’t have to worry about me, my love. I can take care of myself.

Until I can see you again,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_May 2, 5750_

Senku-

~~I-~~ ~~I don’t-~~

I kissed Stanley. Or rather, he kissed me and I kissed him back. We were _~~shit -~~ _

We were going from somewhere in Washington to Salt Lake City when he offered to fly me over to Canada and see what was once Banff National Park. I’ve heard of the place, seen pictures of it, so I said yes.

He took me to Lake Louise. It was _beautiful_ Senku. So much more than I could ever describe. He offered to make camp so we could stay and I agreed. Stanley was so accommodating and kind throughout the whole thing, saying I was their guest and all.

I felt a little like a celebrity VIP to be honest. It was healing, the entire experience. I think, for a moment, looking out into that breathtaking lake and the ice-capped mountains, I forgot that there was a world I left behind.

So one thing led to another and yeah. The kiss happened. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know why I’m writing about it in this **stupid** notebook like some high schooler. He gave me space when I responded with shock and I felt so immensely _guilty_. Is that how I’m supposed to feel?

It’s different than with Lorenzo - you know, from Florence. I don’t know. Maybe because I knew Stanley before all this happened.

Senku, you would know what to do.

~~I wish I could hear your voice right now-~~

I’ll figure it out.

Thank you,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

_August 19, 5750_

Senku,

It’s been a few more months since I last wrote here. Right now we’re in what used to be Louisiana. I can’t sleep, this place gives me the creeps. Stanley has not stopped laughing at my reaction to everything that moves.

We’ve been helping the folks here rebuild and I’ve been asked to do a show again. After all, New Orleans was home to the mystics of America.

Right, Stanley. I should explain that. Considering that we would be on this journey for the rest of the year, I told him I’d give it a chance. No commitment though, I’m not ready for that yet. And he was fine with that.

Said something about, _I get to keep you for a whole year anyway_.

What a flirt!

I did ask him to stop smoking when I’m around though and while it made him uncomfortable, he did agree. To be honest, he seems to be slowing on the smokes for now, and that makes me very happy.

That’s alright, isn’t it? To be happy that someone commits to an effort because they know it’s what you want. I feel… wanted, Senku. Important.

It’s a precious feeling.

This is why I’ve hardly written in a while. Every day has been a new learning experience for me, not just with the world, but also in a relationship.

Please don’t be mad, but I’m glad that I gave this a try. And I’m sure you were too when you got engaged and subsequently settled down, after we accomplished our goal of saving the world.

I still miss you though. You are my best friend after all.

Send my love to everyone,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

Senku

Som tiim es I owmder while I steel b0 t t her to w ri te he rr e

YOu’re HAHA neover gOn n a re ad thi s na ypo a;sdalsd

~~-~~

~~-~~ ~~-~~

~~-~~ ~~-~~

~~-~~ -

~~-~~

-

-

-

Sorry I was drunk, won’t happen again.

_Gen_

-

-

-

_April 14, 5751_

Senku,

New York got flooded. Am I surprised? No.

Still, it was a bit of a disappointment. Stanley already knew by the way, he told me it’ll be a surprise. I punched him in the stomach and only managed to hurt myself in the process.

I’m glad I was able to go to New York in the old world.

...Sometimes I wonder what would have been if I met you in that world. But I think I already know the answer.

We never would have met, you and I. You would be dismissive of my career and I would never have met a man of science like you in my field. Maybe in some event like official appearances or something? But I doubt we would have even held conversation.

That hurts, you know? But I think I understand now.

Today, I know I am glad Tsukasa-chan woke me up from the thousands of years of sleep. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known your Kingdom of Science and its infinite possibilities. People like me don’t get that chance, Senku-chan. We are bred and beautified and presented to the public as a product.

For that alone, I am glad to have met you.

But New York has taught me one thing today. It’s that some things are meant to happen no matter how we downplay that tragedy.

I was always meant to live a life separate from yours. I know what I’m going to do now. I hope Stanley will understand.

Senku, in this life at least, I know I have loved you.

But this time for sure, I also know what it means to live in this world where everything reminds me of you.

Maybe one day, maybe in a more fortunate timeline, we’ll meet again. Or maybe unfortunate. Because I know, for sure, wherever that is, I would still love you the same.

Always,

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

-

-

-

-

Senku stops counting when the plane touched down on the ground. It was still taxiing down to the end of the runway when he took off, running hard despite the always present burn in his legs and the breathlessness from exhaustion.

Because after 137,590,358 seconds, _Gen was finally home_.

He never should have let him go. Never should have let him out of his sight. The damn mentalist is 10 billion percent as smart as he is, even without the encyclopedic knowledge he had built up since childhood, but Senku cannot go through another damn year not knowing where he was or what he was up to.

The plane slows down to a stop. He can feel the others respectfully staying behind him as he meets his long-awaited friend - including his _second_ ex-wife.

Someone jumps down from the plane and the silhouette is unmistakable. Senku immediately freezes on the spot.

Stanley takes off his helmet, cocking his hip to one side.

“Yo, Einstein,” he drawls in lazy english.

“Stanley,” Senku greets, trying to crane his head to look beyond the pilot. Of course Gen would have someone fly him home, that idiot could never pilot a plane on his own-

“He’s not there,” Stanley cuts over his thoughts, lighting a cigarette, a haunted look in his eyes that Senku can’t comprehend or even begin to acknowledge.

“Then why are you here?”

He can hear the people behind him muttering among themselves. Ryusui and Francois are translating what they can but he can hear the palpable confusion in their voices as well.

Stanley approaches Senku, digging through his flight armor. What he hands him, he recognizes in an instant.

It’s the notebook he gave Gen before he left.

The American’s voice is hardly anywhere above a whisper when he speaks, “It’s all we have left of him.”

_What_.

“What did you just say?!”

It takes a moment for Senku to realize that it wasn’t him who roared out that question, but Ryusui, who has now pushed Senku back to grab the American by his flight armor.

“I said,” Stanley huffs out, cigarette thrown onto the asphalt of the landing strip, fists clenching at his sides, “Gen is _gone_.”

Even without the translation, the words are understood easily enough.

Francois gasps somewhere behind Senku. He can hear Tsukasa trying to take Mirai and Suika away from the chaos. Taiju is yelling while Yuzuriha tries to calm him down, Ukyo doing the same for the rest who are trying to understand what is going on.

_Gen is gone._

_Gen is gone._

_Gen is gone._

Ryusui has landed a punch on Stanley’s face before Senku has even processed the words. Stanley flies across the landing strip from the force, Ryusui stalking after him.

“Wait-” Senku says, voice breaking, “Wait, you’ve got to be joking right? There is not even 1mm chance of that bastard dying. What. This is a prank, right?”

Ryusui stops advancing on Stanley the moment Senku starts talking.

Senku laughs, almost maniacally, “Come on now, Mentalist, it’s not like you to play cruel tricks like this. You’re not-”

Stanley cuts him off. “Gen wanted to fly a plane to Australia to visit the Kingdom of Aluminum. I offered to fly him there but he refused, no matter how many times I insisted. Five days after he left, his plane washed ashore in Sacramento with a busted engine and no Gen.”

The American looks Senku in the eye. “That was a month ago. Xeno and I have been organizing search and rescues the entire time, but there have been no signs of life anywhere,” he takes in a ragged breath, his demeanor something Senku finally recognizes as _grief_ , “All we have is the ‘black box’ in the plane and all it contained was that notebook. I believe it’s for your eyes only, even though Xeno and I have read through it in hopes of finding any clues.”

Senku shakes his head. Because this isn’t real. This isn’t happening right now. This is. This isn’t how he pictured this day would go. This isn’t how he imagined parting with Gen would end- There isn’t even 1mm chance of it _happening_ -

There is an arm around his shaking shoulders then. It’s Taiju. “Francois, I think we should let our guest rest,” he says to the butler, not taking his eyes off Senku. Francois appears in Senku’s line of sight, bowing to Stanley proffering a hand which the pilot ignores, standing up on his own.

He follows Francois only to stop right beside Senku. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I loved him, too.”

Senku blinks, something in his chest trying to claw out of his throat at the words. _I loved him, too_. His hands reach up to his heart, feeling its tachycardic beat, counting each press against his chest as he tries to make sense of what just happened.

Ryusui passes by him to follow Stanley, clapping a hand on Senku’s shoulder in grim support, herding the others that must still be standing behind him. The commotion gradually decreases as Taiju remains steadfast by his side, keeping him whole where Senku thinks he might fall apart like a petrified statue.

Yuzuriha appears on his other side then, wrapping her arms around his waist, hiding her crying face on his shoulder.

The world seems to implode inside Senku at the contact, the words _Gen is gone_ the only thing that echoes in his mind right now. His knees collapse under the weight of the past ten minutes that might as well have been another 3,700 years.

As a group, he, Taiju, and Yuzuriha, kneel onto the landing strip, Yuzuriha’s tears dampening his shoulder, Taiju sobbing quietly beside him. His hands shake as he holds Gen’s last memento of this world, caresses it like it would give him answers to the questions he can’t even begin to ask. He opens the cover-

_My dearest Senku-chan_

-and weeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! click the kudos if you enjoyed and please come scream at me because i hate myself too
> 
> like wtf sengen is made for fluff and happiness and i write this?? such bullshit lmfao
> 
> also, yes, i didnt tag major character death because it didnt happen. gen has his reasons (HE JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY) but senku aint letting him go that easily.
> 
> i left the identity of senku's wife vague although its p heavily implied to be kohaku thanks to one single sentence lol. i just have this feeling that canon seems to be going that direction although senku is a definite chaste hero (see tvtropes). in my head, i can see them having mutual respect and fondness for each other, but i just see a more explosive chemical reaction (SCIENCE!!) between our resident scientist and our resident mentalist.
> 
> senku may seem dismissive of gen's talents in some parts but that's because it's gen's pov. he wants to interpret it that way to avoid, idk, more hurt? (what a dumbdumb) the floriography will be explained next chapter but i got it from the uk botanist site that comes up first when you google floriography if you wanna know.
> 
> title is from the first line of bts' let go. chapter title is also a line from the song. want some major angst? listen to the damn song bc it hurts so good!!! its basically the soundtrack to this story. the first chapter anyway.
> 
> that said, im not sure when the next chapter will be but im p attached to this pairing rn so dont worry, it wont be long!
> 
> thank you again so much for reading!!


	2. im waiting, lets start over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Primary Investigator Ishigami Senku would like to posit that the statement "Gen is gone" is, in fact, false.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Lion King OST - Be Prepared.mp3_

When the Senku VII aka Soyuz II was completed, they all expected Senku to be the first passenger on it. So the entire Kingdom was surprised when Senku just picked at his ear and said he’ll think of who to send and he’ll let them know tomorrow.

As he sits on the floor of the observatory looking up at the moon mocking him, Senku remembers the conversation he had with Tsukasa before he placed him in cryostasis.

_Let’s see, I would bring Taiju. Hm. Senku… but Senku is unreliable when it comes to physical strength. So. Hm. Yes, I’ll probably bring Chrome._

Here are the facts:

  1. Tsukasa has good intuition when it comes to preparation. There is a reason he was able to keep Senku on his toes and pulling out all stops during the Stone Wars.
  2. Senku _is_ unreliable when it comes to physical strength. While Chrome is hardly better than Senku in that regard, he is at least _better_ and, most importantly;
  3. There is not 1mm of doubt that Yuzuriha is expecting.



Senku sighs, lying on his back and cursing his best friend a little bit for making him choose. There is a knock on the observatory door but before he could answer, Gen lets himself in.

“Senku-chan~”

The scientist rolls his eyes but he can feel his body relax all the same. Gen has that kind of effect on him, it’s puzzling really. The mentalist shuffles closer and sits down, criss cross applesauce, right beside Senku. He doesn’t begrudge Gen the lack of personal space, the observatory was, in a way, _theirs_ after all.

Together, they look up at the stars in silence.

“Hmmm. Such beauty,” Gen says softly after a while, “One has to onder-way what’s up there, hmm?”

Senku snorts. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

The scientist blinks and sits up all of a sudden. He looks at Gen who levels him with a serene look. _It could work_ , Senku’s traitorous mind tells him.

_No, absolutely not_. Gen’s strengths were manipulation and misdirection. Who knows how that will hold up with Why-man? Then again, who knows if it _won’t_. All of a sudden Senku realizes with 10 billion percent certainty that he won’t risk Gen at all, it will be like saying he’ll send _Suika_ to space.

_Damn it_ , this is why sentiment has no place in science.

Senku sighs. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mentalist.”

“Don’t I?” Gen smiles, hiding the grin behind the sleeves of his purple haori, “Do you?”

No, he doesn’t.

“No one does and that’s the point,” his own voice cuts in. Or rather, Gen does using his voice. Senku glares at him, and the mentalist has the gall to grin.

“Now, Senku-chan, don’t make that face. If we don’t know what’s out there, shouldn’t we send the est-bay we have?”

“Well, I can’t send Taiju now, can’t I?”

“I wasn’t talking about Taiju-chan, Senku,” Gen says, uncharacteristically serious, “Chrome-chan has made amazing strides in pursuit of science, but he still isn’t our best scientist by a long shot, is he?”

Senku gives him a dirty look. He’s forgotten how much of an asshole Gen is sometimes. He didn’t have to spit on his dreams like that. Senku hasn’t seen Gen’s ruthlessness since- since-

Stop. Recalibrate.

Here are the facts:

  1. Gen has _not_ been ruthless, not to _Senku_. He’s frank but he isn’t cruel. It’s part of why they make such a good team - Gen has never been afraid to call Senku out on his bullshit if it’s necessary but he is a _good friend_. The observatory is 10 billion percent proof of that. Which begs the question of what the mentalist is up to.
  2. Calling Senku the brains of their operation will be true, but not all of it. Gen is as much of a strategist as he is, both of them bringing different but equal sides to the equation that make up the “brains of the operation.” It’s what sets them apart from the rest of the five generals after all.
  3. Gen has implied that he wants - _is willing_? - to go to space. For once, in this life, Asagiri Gen offers himself as a volunteer to do actual work.
  4. That’s a lie, the infiltration of Xeno’s Kingdom of Corn being the primary example but it doesn’t change the fact the Gen volunteered himself. And if Gen is going to be the second man in the Soyuz II then,
  5. They would need a scientist. While Senku has no doubt Chrome and Gen would work together well, even with Tsukasa, it’s not really their best possible combination.



No, their best combination means that Gen wasn’t mocking his dream of going to space at all. Gen was simply asking him to reconsider the possibility of something he had long discarded, offering himself up as collateral.

Sending himself or Gen alone to space would be disastrous, but together? To be honest, it’s something Senku lets himself think in quiet moments, that he and Gen together were unstoppable. If he combined that with Tsukasa’s might...

The realization must have shown on his face because Gen gives a little chuckle.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Senku tells him, a little smile on his face.

“Why, my dear Senku-chan,” Gen grins mischievously, the way he does when he scores a win against Senku, “I don’t even have 1mm of an idea what you’re talking bout-ay.”

Senku lets himself laugh. Yes, this 10 billion percent excites him.

-

-

As soon as his shaking legs touch the ground, he is swamped by hugs - Taiju, Yuzuriha, Kohaku, Chrome, Ruri…

In his periphery, Tsukasa is carrying Mirai, exchanging greetings with Ryusui and Ukyo. Gen stands off to the side watching the scene before him serenely. Senku angles his body to wordlessly ask Gen to join his little huddle but soon enough he too is attacked by Kaseki, Suika, and the children.

Gen meets his eyes regardless, gives him a gentle smile before turning back to hug a crying Suika.

They’re home. That’s all that matters. They’re home, safe, and they can finally rebuild. Senku lets himself sink into Taiju’s shoulder, one arm around Yuzuriha who was now obviously showing, the other anchored in Kohaku’s back, crushing Chrome between them, Ruri reaching for him from behind the younger scientist, Tsukasa surrounded by his other friends to his side, Gen’s knowing gaze warm on his back.

Home.

-

-

-

-

-

_March 20, 5747_

_Dearest Senku-chan,_

_...But I thank you for this gift, I shall cherish it always_ _as I travel this world you have built. In these pages I will write the words I want to tell you. Words that I can never say now_ _._

_The truth is, my dearest Senku, you have scored your greatest victory over me so many years ago, when I was still newly reawakened, stumbling in this stone world_ _. The day you wrote April..._

-

-

**Entry No. 1** \- _August 13, 5751_

 _Investigator:_ Ishigami Senku

**Question** : As posited by Stanley Snyder: Asagiri Gen (henceforth known as ‘ _The Subject_ ’) is gone. Is the statement true or false?

**Facts** :

  1. In The Investigator’s last conversation with _The Subject_ before he left, _The Subject_ said he wanted to see what the world has become now that Why-man is gone. _The Subject_ said that the world is too vast and too beautiful for him to stay in Japan.
  2. _The Subject_ is a passable driver and an even worse helmsman. Taking into account the 4 years and 3 months in between his departure from Japan and his ill-fated flight, _The Subject_ theoretically _could_ have learned how to fly an airplane.
  3. Even so, _The Subject_ ~~was~~ **_is_** a realist. There is simply no way he would have been willing to do a trans-Pacific flight on his own for his first time, practically insisting on it.
  4. Which means that: Either Stanley Snyder is lying or Asagiri Gen was up to something.



-

-

Senku finds him in the observatory, staring up at the stars. Gen turns to greet him with a wide smile, “Senku-chan! You shouldn’t be here, it’s your arty-pay!”

The scientist snorts, “And you’re supposed to be down there but instead you’re hiding out here.”

Gen turns away, the smile still plastered across his face. “Ah, you know I can’t hold my alcohol too well and Ryusui has tried to make me take more shots than I would have liked.”

Senku hums, remembering the last time Gen had gotten drunk during the victory celebration, and honestly what a disaster that was. He seats himself beside the mentalist despite the inordinate amount of space available in the observatory. It’s been several months since they landed on earth and Gen had drunkenly swaggered around the village much to Senku’s amusement. A lot has happened since then, and most surprisingly, Senku actually finds himself engaged.

It was the logical thing, wasn’t it? He was older now, almost as old as Byakuya had been when he left on the Soyuz. There was no villain to defeat, no people to unpetrify, no world to save. Senku had his science but Senku also had his whole life ahead of him. Companionship was the next right step, wasn’t it? He almost voiced his thoughts out to Gen who he can trust to understand the turmoil surrounding him right now but a look towards the mentalist helps him remember why he was here in the first place.

The bachelor party is a riot, composed originally of his closest circle of friends, but then the men - and some of the women - of the village thought it was a good idea to crash their chief’s stag party. He’d been contentedly sipping his drink on the side - courtesy of Bar Francois of course - striking up conversation with whoever drunkenly approaches him with well wishes.

That is, until he noticed the distinct lack of purple in his field of vision. All of his other friends were accounted for - Taiju, Chrome, Ryusui, Ukyo, Tsukasa - except for the mentalist who had planned the party himself.

There can only be one place he’s escaped to if he wanted to be left alone. So with maneuvering and careful evasion of Taiju’s persistent clinging, Senku finds himself in the observatory with Gen who, even after seven minutes and forty-seconds, has not said anything else other than the original greetings they exchanged.

“Alright, mentalist, spit it out,” Senku says begrudgingly. Gen blinks at him, playing the fool, “I don’t know what you’re asking bout-ay, Senku-chan.”

He leans closer towards Gen, frowning. The mentalist doesn’t flinch, doesn’t give any measure or sign of discomfort, but Senku’s known him for far too long to not notice even the smallest signs. Gen’s fingers are subtly digging into his thighs, his smile is too casual, too perfect, and his eyes. He hasn’t looked Senku in the eye at least once tonight.

“There’s something you want to tell me,” Senku drawls, “I can tell.”

This time, the smile does freeze unnaturally in Gen’s face. He huffs and turns away from Senku. “What if I don’t ever want to tell you, huh, Senku-chan?”

“That’s ridiculous,” he dismisses easily, “You know you can tell me about anything.”

Gen gives a little mocking laugh which Senku frowns on. What’s that supposed to mean? That Gen had held back something from him? That Senku has ever dismissed any of Gen’s concerns? 10 billion percent unrealistic. But it bothers him enough to unsettle the usual certainty that blankets the two of them when they’re here in this observatory.

“When will you replace this telescope, Senku-chan?” Gen asks out of nowhere, completely ignoring what Senku just said and pulling him away from his spiraling doubts.

“Huh? Why would I do that?”

“You’ve gained the resources to create something more advanced than this one,” the mentalist says, patting the telescope beside him.

A rock settles in the pit Senku’s abdomen, “The telescope is going to stay as long as you’re here, Gen.”

He smiles, but Senku can tell it’s brittle, a cover. “Ah, but I’m not gonna be here forever, you know~”

Senku goes into a momentary silence, mind going straight to the worst case scenario. “Gen,” he starts, after taking a deep breath and taking the plunge, “What are you trying to say?”

This time, the smile fades from Gen’s face until it’s a shadow of the mentalist’s usual paper thin ones. Gen turns to look into the stars, leaving Senku stewing in the silence.

“I want to leave.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I want to travel the world Senku-cha-”

“We just _did_ , what else do you want?”

“Senku-”

“No,” Senku huffs, blinks at Gen like the past minute didn’t just happen, “What do you need Gen? I can make it for you here, whatever you want.”

For a moment, Gen is stunned into silence at his words, his eyes widening a fraction in a rare show of vulnerability. But then his face shutters off as he laughs and Senku is left confused.

“You can’t make me the world, silly,” Gen says, “All I want is to see the world now that Why-man is gone. Aren’t Tsukasa-chan and the others doing the same thing?”

“Yeah, in _Japan_.”

“The world is so much bigger than Japan and just as beautiful. I do always like to dream big, Senku-chan.”

“Gen. _Why_?”

“Why not, Senku-chan? There’s no world for us to save anymore. You yourself are moving on. As for me, I always told you I’m staying on the side with the best benefit. There's always something new to exploit in the world now that we’ve unpetrified it.”

Why not, indeed. A question championed by science. Then why not _stay_? Senku blinks. Why is he so insistent on Gen staying? The mentalist can do whatever he wants, right? If this will make him happy then...

Right. Senku sighs. “Wait here,” he tells Gen. The mentalist blinks at him at the strange command but Senku had already descended to the lab. He finds what he’s looking for, a product long been finished but never given to its proper owner. He climbs back to the observatory where Gen sits waiting in confusion.

“Here,” Senku hands him the notebook. It’s unlined, leather bound, roughly the size of old journals. Gen rifles through its blank pages before giving him an amused look.

“You said I can’t make you the world,” Senku says, “Well I don’t know what in the world exactly it is that you want and I don’t think you do either. So write down whatever catches your attention and then when you come back, we can talk about it.”

This time when Gen laughs, it’s genuine, full-bodied and infectious, and Senku can’t help but smile fondly. Gen runs his fingers through the soft leather of the cover before he looks at Senku mischievously.

“What if I use it for something else and never let you see it?”

Senku snorts, the way he does when he calls Gen out on his bullshit, “Do whatever you want, it’s yours anyway.”

“Mine, huh?” Gen says with a faraway look, “Thank you, Senku.”

“Uh,” Senku articulates eloquently at the unexpected gratitude, “You’re welcome?”

Gen keeps smiling as he cradles the notebook in his hands and for the first time that night, the silence is comfortable and easy. Senku allows himself to lie down on the observatory floor and observe the night sky.

“Wait a minute… Why are you giving me gifts, Senku-chan? It’s _your_ arty-pay!”

-

-

**Conclusion** : The flight and the crashed plane were deliberate. It begs the question of _why_ _The Subject_ would go through such lengths to fake his own death. What happened in the 4 years, 4 months, 9 days since The Investigator has last seen him? The pages of the thin leather bound notebook hardly gave any substantial reference to that time. Even if supplanting the possibility that what happened was an ill-fated accident, one thing remains clear in the face of all the facts: **There is no conclusive evidence that Asagiri Gen is truly gone**.

**Recommendations** : Investigate possible reasons as to why Asagiri Gen would make the effort to fake his own death. Possible reasons may be found in a) the notebook he left behind; b) the places he visited in the last 4 years, 4 months, and 9 days.

_Senku’s Personal Notes_ : Don’t play this game with me, Mentalist. Don’t forget that _I know you_. Not even four years apart could distance us enough for me not to track the traces you’ve left behind. You’re alive Gen, I know with 10 billion percent certainty that you are. No matter where you are, I _will_ find you.

-

-

Yuzuriha finds him in the observatory, staring down at the notebook Gen left behind. Senku would hide in this place more often than not, especially after Gen left all those years ago.

The village held a symbolic memorial for Asagiri Gen but Senku had not been there. Refused to attend the last goodbyes made by the Kingdom of Science to one of its pillars. Instead he’s locked himself in his one true sanctuary, flipping through the pages of the leather-bound notebook.

“I don’t think he’s dead,” Senku says when Yuzuriha keeps silent.

This time, Yuzuriha does frown. “Senku-kun, just because you can’t accept it-”

“No, Yuzuriha,” Senku interrupts gently, still looking through the notebook, “I am 10 billion percent sure he’s not dead.”

Yuzuriha blinks, assessing Senku thoroughly. She and Taiju have known this man the longest. Senku never lies when it comes to science - when it comes to _facts_.

She smiles, “Alright, what are you going to do then?”

“What else is there to do? I’m going to find him.”

-

-

-

-

-

_April 9, 5747_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

_...Still, when I told you I would be leaving at first light,_ _I was not expecting you to be there to send me off. _ _It was your wedding night after all. I take it even Kohaku herself wanted to see me off as..._

_...You laugh, I know._ _The most selfish man in the world, caring for others rather than himself? The truth is, I have come to love this little family of ours, but still, I remain selfish. _ _Otherwise, I would have been just as happy to stay a_ ~~ _nd watch the love of my life be happy with someone el_~~ _se..._

-

-

Senku remembers the day he said goodbye to Gen with outstanding clarity. He remembers how tightly he had held onto the mentalist, how Gen buried his face into the juncture of Senku’s neck and shoulder.

He clearly remembers the acute loss he felt when Gen started to walk away. He remembers counting 1, 2, 3, 4 seconds matching Gen’s footsteps. He remembers thinking - they’ve never been apart for very long, so there’s a 10 billion percent chance the mentalist will be back soon. 

For the first time in forever, his hypothesis was wrong. So he continues his count because Gen’s absence carves out a distinct void in his day to day life that he hopes in vain could be replaced by the numbers steadily ticking inside his head.

Senku sighs. Stanley’s plane touched down at exactly 1132H 18 seconds to the dot. His count had been at 137,590,358 seconds when he stopped. He never should have stopped counting. And he won’t, not until he sees Gen again.

When he descends from the observatory with his pack of supplies, he is greeted by the solemn faces of the villagers. Right at the forefront, Yuzuriha and Taiju stand, their little girl in her father’s arms.

“What’s this?” he asks.

“You’re going off on an adventure again, Senku!” Taiju says, unable to hold back the emotion in his eyes and tone, “Of course we’d send you off!”

Senku smirks. It’s not so much an adventure but a mission. The sentiment is appreciated, regardless. “Don’t cry, you big oaf,” he scolds his oldest friend, “You have someone who looks up to you now.”

Despite his warning, Taiju’s tears and snot fall, the man trying his hardest to reign them back in. “Senku!!” he yells, “You better come back alright!!” Throughout the shouting, Momoi remains asleep, obviously immune to her father’s loud volume.

Yuzuriha pats her husband’s arm before approaching Senku. There is a folded piece of clothing in her arms. “It’s going to be winter soon,” she says, “You should keep warm, alright?”

Senku smiles, accepting the gift. “Thank you. You watch over them for me now, will you?” Yuzuriha smiles, sunny and bright, “Of course!”

The rest of the village take their turns shouting their farewells and reminders at him, talking over each other in their earnest. Wishes of safe journeys and prayers for Gen’s safety all abound. Kaseki, still spry even with his age, comes forward with a gift of his own, sealed in a rectangular box lined with velvet.

“You’ve been pretty unfortunate with your relationships, Senku,” the old man laughs, to which Senku just snorts, “But I made you these just in case.”

Senku can easily surmise what’s inside and his heart stutters at the thought that Kaseki is confident in him _and_ Gen enough to prepare for something like this. He smiles, stashing the box in his pack. “I’ll only be opening it when I’m sure then, old man,” he says.

“Ohohoho,” Kaseki laughs, stroking his beard, “I expect nothing less from you, of course. What was it you told me? Third time’s the charm? Well I wouldn’t know because I only need one try but with your luck I guess that’s true.”

Senku laughs wholeheartedly at Kaseki’s spunk. Every day he finds himself extremely thankful that the man had lived long enough for them to meet. He holds out his hand which Kaseki eagerly meets with his own in a high-five. Senku nods at him before he moves on.

He meets the eyes of the villagers who had become his home, all of whom speak their goodbyes to him in turn - Ginrou, Kinrou, Matsukaze, Magma, Hyoga, Homura, Kohaku… The girl in question just grins in encouragement before he ducks his head to hide a relieved smirk.

As he walks closer to the forest, he sees his other friends waiting scattered near the tree line.

“Why are you all posing like some kind of boy band?” he calls them out, picking his ear.

Chrome, closest to him, snorts out a laugh. “Just come over here, will you?”

Senku rolls his eyes but indulges them anyway. He and Chrome bump their fists in their age-old greeting. “Don’t worry,” the younger scientist says, “I’ll keep watch over them for you.”

“Of course,” Senku answers, “I expect nothing less from the Assistant Chief.”

Chrome’s chest puffs out with pride at the title - something he doesn’t take lightly. Senku knows Ishigami village and the Kingdom of Science is in good hands with his protege.

Ruri, standing beside her husband, takes Senku’s hand on her own. “I pray you find our dearest friend, Senku,” she says with a smile. Senku nods, before patting his hand over the swell of her abdomen. “You take care of this little one, alright?” he raises his eyebrow at Ruri who folds her hands over his and gives a reassuring smile.

Ryusui is next, his eyes burning with intent. “When you find him,” he says, “Give him a big ol’ smack right in the kisser for me, will you?”

“Eh, I’m opposed to physical violence, you know that.”

“Also, you _will_ drag his ass back to Japan or so help me, I will track you _both_ down and _strangle you_.”

“Wow.”

Ryusui grins, clapping a hand on Senku’s shoulder. “You be careful out there, alright?” he says with uncharacteristic seriousness. Senku brushes off his hand from his shoulder with a smirk, “What’s it to you, rich boy?”

“Why, I must complete my collection of all the things I desire of course!”

Senku rolls his eyes, “You’re incorrigible.”

Francois steps up next to Ryusui then. “Master Senku, I have taken the liberty of packing food for your journey. They are all with the pack carried by Master Tsukasa.”

“Tsukasa?”

“Yeah,” Ukyo says, patting a hand over Mirai’s head where she stands beside him, “Better bring him back in one piece, Scientist.”

Senku raises his eyebrow at where Tsukasa sits on a fallen tree peacefully. “I didn’t ask?”

Ukyo smiles, “You didn’t have to. Gen’s not only one who knows you, Senku.”

“No parting words of wisdom for me, sonar boy?”

Ukyo laughs. “Nah, you’re way out of my league, let’s be real.”

Mirai steps forward then, hugging Senku by the waist. She pulls back, looks Senku in the eye and says, “You’re bringing both of them back in one piece, Senku-nii!”

“ _Both?_ ”

Suika’s head pops out from behind Tsukasa. “Yes! Suika is going as well!”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, Suika.”

Tsukasa speaks up for the first time, “Hm. She can come along.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Senku complains, “Whose life-changing expedition are we going on again?”

The strongest high schooler smirks, “Yours. Hm. Which is why you will need back-up.”

Senku scowls, “I don’t _need_ back-up.”

“The chances that you’d be dead, mortally wounded, or dying from thirst and hunger even before you leave Japan is-”

“Ugh, _fine!_ ”

Suika giggles in delight as Tsukasa stands up. “Well then, shall we find your mentalist?”

The village cheers at Tsukasa’s words. The man’s charisma levels are seriously 10 billion levels off the charts. Senku walks past them as he rolls his eyes, “He’s not mine, Tsukasa.”

Not yet anyway. Wait, _what?_

It is August 21, 5747 0658H 13 secs on the dot. Senku restarts his count.

_138,437,893 seconds_

-

-

-

-

-

_June 12, 5747_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

_...here even with the dreadful heat. They invited me to stay until next spring when planting will start._ _And be asked to help? Absolutely not. _

_...I would say I am sad to go but_ _none could still compare to the pain of leaving you behind._

-

-

**Things to tell Asagiri Gen when I find him:**

  1. Asagiri Gen is an idiot and a bastard for disappearing and faking his death.
  2. Asagiri Gen is an idiot for leaving in the first place.
  3. Asagiri Gen should stop asking Ishigami Senku to tell their friends all the sentimental shit he wrote for them and tell them himself.
  4. Asagiri Gen's talents are exceptional and exhilarating and Ishigami Senku will never ask him to change that.
  5. Asagiri Gen will never change, he’s still a lazy ass and a smart ass and a magnificent bastard all the same.



-

-

-

-

-

_July 21, 5747_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

_I am halfway to the Kingdom of Mathematics. I think. I believe I may have gotten a little lost._

-

-

Senku doesn’t like reading this entry, even though this is the first one where Gen made his true feelings known. Because, one day, years ago, Ishigami Senku would have lost Asagiri Gen and he never would have known. Senku would have kept counting the seconds passing by while Gen wasted away in the middle of the Gobi desert.

He looks up at the stars. The sky is clear tonight, he can easily pick out Altair, Polaris, and Vega. Betelgeuse and Rigel frame the distinct Orion’s Belt on either side. The moon, quiet in its crescent state, travels slowly across the sky.

Senku wonders if this was the same night sky Gen had been looking up to all those years ago. Maybe Gen had slowly picked out the stars the way Senku had taught him to, not that it would have been useful in navigation because of the way the Earth’s axis has tilted if Gen didn’t know the proper calculations.

_Every person on this planet is made of the same star-stuff that makes up the universe. Who are we to decide who should live and not when we’re all equal to the stars?_

Gen had laughed then, mirth and awe dancing in his eyes when Senku said that. _It’s not like you to be so oetic-pay, Senku-chan!_

He should have known, of course, that it was all just a ploy to turn Senku’s eyes away lest he see the way the words had taken root and affected the selfish mentalist. There are a lot of things he should have known, should have said, should have done when it comes to Asagiri Gen.

The only way to be able to complete that to-do list now is to find him on this planet before he disappears for real beyond Senku’s grasp, because Senku refuses to believe that in this moment, Asagiri Gen has gone far beyond Senku’s reach.

“Senku-nii?”

Senku is jolted out of his musings at the soft, sleepy voice. He turns around to see Suika dragging her sleeping bag with her, rubbing her eyes and coming closer to Senku. The scientist lets her settle beside him on the sand. “You should be sleeping, kid,” he scolds.

“Hmm,” Suika mumbles, “Suika will sleep if Senku-nii will sleep too.”

He couldn’t help the low chuckle that escapes from him at the sentiment. Suika had used to do that a lot, especially when he’d be stuck inside the laboratory, intensely concentrated on the task at hand, unmindful of the time. She’s been timid at first, terrified really, but as she saw the way Senku would sometimes collapse out of nowhere in exhaustion, she’d become more adamant and stubborn when demanding that Senku rest and have a normal sleeping routine.

It wasn’t until months later that he found out it had been Gen who tricked her into starting, no wonder the poor girl was so terrified. _Stupid mentalist_ , he thinks with a smile.

“I’m not sleepy yet, Suika,” he says instead.

“Then will Senku-nii teach Suika about the stars until we-” she yawns, “-sleep?”

Senku pats her hair fondly. He’d never admit it to anyone else, but Suika is easily his favorite among the citizens of Ishigami Village. “Alright, kid,” he huffs, as if put-upon but Suika only grins at him, “Get your glasses, let me tell you about constellations.”

-

-

-

-

-

_August 4, 5747_

_Senku-chan,_

_I’m not dead._

_...I’m suddenly so bone tired Senku-chan!!_ _I miss cola_ _!_ _I miss ramen_ _! I miss_ _Suika and the kids_ _. I miss_ _Tsukasa_ _humming,_ _Taiju_ _yelling,_ _Kaseki_ _and_ _Chrome_ _’s excitement. I miss everyone. I miss_ _home_ _._

_I miss_ _you_ _._ **_I miss you, too._ **

-

-

**Things to make Asagiri Gen when he comes back:**

  1. Cola. Lots of it.
  2. Ramen. The good kind with wheat noodles. ( _Note:_ Ask Francois.)
  3. A playground? For time with the kids.
  4. A portable GPS because the idiot gets lost easily.
  5. Whatever he fucking wants, I already told him I would.



-

-

_I miss you, too._

Senku blinks. He had already written the words without thinking about it. Well, it’s 10 billion percent the truth isn’t it? He’s not going to scratch that out now. (And make the notebook dirty? Not a chance.)

Suika shuffles around in her sleeping bag where she’s lying next to him for the second night in a row because Senku still wouldn’t go to sleep like a normal person.

"Senku-nii? Can I ask you something?" she asks in a soft, soft voice, as if afraid of what Senku might think.

"Of course,” he quickly assures her. Asking questions was always something he and Gen had encouraged in the children when they teach, a healthy curiosity was necessary for the growth of science after all. It’s been a long time since Suika even hesitated to ask a question. “What is it?"

"How do you know Gen-nii isn’t dead?"

Oh. Well. So that’s why. If Senku had to lay down the facts, he’d still be stuck with just the one: that the flight was something Gen, the sensible and cowardly idiot that he is, would never do unless he had a personal agenda.

Disappearing from the face of the newly-restored Earth seemed a personal and painstaking enough undertaking to warrant flying a plane, fake crashing it, and running off to wherever he deemed his presence needed or undetectable.

Unfortunately, even that fact lies solely on the basis of one thing - that Ishigami Senku knows Asagiri Gen well enough to put this much blind faith on assumption.

In the end, he opts to tell Suika the truth.

“I just,” he hesitates, “I just know."

He flinches. That’s not like him at all. But there are facts and there are truths. And this is the truth.

"I can just tell that he's still out there somewhere."

Suika looks at him in wonder, like she’s never seen him before. Understandable enough considering he’d never said those words as a man of science. The girl smiles and settles into her sleeping bag.

“If there’s one thing I know about you, Senku-nii, it’s that you are always 10 billion percent right.”

-

-

-

-

-

_January 4, 5748_

_Dearest Senku-chan,_

_...The telescope must be so primitive now, compared to what we have been able to achieve. I wonder if you’ve taken it down already to make room for something else._ _I was always wondering when you would do that._ **_Never._**

-

-

The observatory, in the two forms it has taken in the old world and this one, has always been one of his most treasured possessions. Years ago, as a child, Byakuya sold his car to buy him the equipment needed to make one at home. Since then, Senku had devoted his time and effort not to waste his father’s gift, to learn about science every waking moment of his life, conducting experiment after experiment, enjoying the thrill of knowledge, doing, learning, achieving, creating, failing, and succeeding.

When the world turned to stone, experimentation turned into other things, the sole focus being survival. There was no time for leisure or simple joys. There was only living and saving the world. Saving himself, saving his friends, saving Ruri, saving Ishigami Village, saving Tsukasa from himself.

But then Asagiri Gen came to his life, a man completely in tune with his mind but completely different from his way of life all the same.

What was it about Asagiri Gen really? Senku feels like meeting the mentalist had to be one of those serendipitous things that life had intended, thousands of years apart.

So many of his successes hinged on that one chance that of all people Tsukasa chose to spy on him, it had been the mentalist he detested from the old world. And yet, so much of his motivation came from the man himself. What’s up with that?

It started because of mutual gains of course, Gen had his ramen, Senku had his additional manpower. Gen would have his cola, Senku had his double-agent. Gen had the knife that eventually saved Kohaku and the rest of Ishigami Village, Senku had another modern man who can appreciate the value of what he’s doing in the background of having almost nothing.

Gen had been the perfect soundboard for Senku’s schemes, whether they planned it advance or not. Senku had been the perfect source for Gen’s need to succeed and be on the winning side.

The balance tilted when Senku came back from spelunking like an idiot and finding the observatory Gen had asked the Ishigami villagers to build for him. On his birthday, a date he calculated from throwaway information, like the sentimental madman that he is no matter how much he denies it.

And what had Senku offered him in exchange? Nothing really, except maybe free access to what will eventually become their safe space. Where he and Gen learned to bounce ideas off of each other, to admit vulnerabilities, to accept empathy, to be human, not a scientist, not a mentalist.

When they defeated Why-man, the balance shifted again. Senku became consistently occupied with life after defeating the Big Bad, freer with his schemes without the looming threat of doom upon the world. Gen, on the other hand, stayed in that safe space more often than not, when there wasn’t work to do in the village, when he didn’t have to teach the children.

Even then, at the end of the day, it had still been an equivalent exchange. That Senku came to that home when the work was done. That Gen would be there waiting with a smile.

Then… Gen told him he wanted to leave. And the balance shifted precariously to the point of breaking. He thought he understood Gen. He thought he knew what he wanted. He thought he could give it to him, no question. It was never going to be impossible because Senku would make it possible. That night, he knew, there was nothing he wasn’t prepared to do to make Gen stay. To maintain the balance that had been his life since meeting Asagiri Gen.

But that’s just the thing wasn’t it? That one thing Gen needed that night was the one thing he wasn’t prepared to give, wasn’t prepared to admit.

There was nothing left to do but let go, and let Gen find his happiness somewhere that isn’t where Senku is.

And god _damn_ did that hurt like a bitch.

So often he wandered into the observatory and left because it wasn’t the same, like it was off its axis, like the room was foreign and bigger than he remembered. He hated that place for a while, hated seeing the telescope, hated being reminded that Gen, the utter fool, thought Senku would even _consider_ replacing what has become his most prized possession.

Where did he go wrong?

He waited it out, the wrongness. Counted the seconds like it meant something little more than a reassurance that all will be fixed in time. In the end, he couldn’t resist the pull of the observatory. One day, he climbed up there again, cleaned the place, dusted off the telescope, and looked up to the night sky wondering if Gen was looking at it too.

Senku does the same now, on the road, because it’s that hope that pulls him along, trying to find where Gen is hiding in this wide, wide world. Because if there’s one thing he knows for sure, it’s that the night sky is theirs. Whether in that observatory, or in space defeating their greatest enemy, or now, miles and miles apart.

On one fateful night, days or years from now he doesn’t care, but he’ll get there and they’ll be looking at it again, side by side, and Senku will not let him go again, not this time.

-

-

-

-

-

_April 11, 5748_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

**_I would have built you one._ **

_...Did you know they built an _ _amusement park_ _?_ _I was beside myself with excitemen_ _t!_

_The best part? They built a theatre! It’s so beautiful!! They _ _asked me to put on shows and I happily obliged_ _. Nothing still makes man speechless the way a good magic trick does - not that…_

-

-

**Things to make Asagiri Gen when he comes back:**

  1. Cola. Lots of it.
  2. Ramen. The good kind with wheat noodles. ( _Note:_ Ask Francois.)
  3. A playground? For time with the kids.
  4. A portable GPS because the idiot gets lost easily.
  5. Whatever he fucking wants, I already told him I would.
  6. An _amusement park_ apparently.



-

-

“What’s an ah-moo-seh-men-tee park?”

“ _Amusement_ park. Hm. It’s where people go to have fun and get on rides.”

“Rides?”  
  


“Like the ones we made in the mines, Suika.”

“But more thrilling and enjoyable. Hm.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“Yup.”

“And you’re gonna make one for Gen-nii?”

“...”

“Well, it’s not just gonna be for Gen…”

“Hm. _Right._ ”

“ _Shut up!_ It really isn’t!”

“Ooh, I’d love to see it, Senku-nii!”

“Well. We’re almost to the Kingdom of Mathematics and Gen said they have one. Race you to it?”

“ _BYE SENKU-NII, TSU-NII!!_ ”

“Hey, wait, don’t go getting a head start brat!”

“Hm. You could’ve just avoided the question instead of running away.”

-

-

-

-

-

_April 27, 5748_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

_...My trade of entertainment is alive in this city! Oh, I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a while. To be honest,_ _I didn’t think I would be happy again when I left Japan_ _._

_...I think I shall enjoy my time here and stay a while._ _The world is a wonderful place_ _, Senku-chan. My only wish is that_ _I could’ve experienced it with you_ _._ **_We will, I promise._ **

-

-

**_do for_ **

**Things ~~to~~** ~~**make**~~ **Asagiri Gen when he comes back:**

**_Make/Build:_ **

  1. Cola. Lots of it.
  2. Ramen. The good kind with wheat noodles. ( _Note:_ Ask Francois.)
  3. A playground? For time with the kids.
  4. A portable GPS because the idiot gets lost easily.
  5. **Whatever he fucking wants** , I already told him I would.
  6. An _amusement park_ apparently.
  7. Find a way to make a trip around the world possible if he still wants it. **_I want to see this world with you, Gen._**



-

-

-

-

-

_June 8, 5749_

_My love, Senku,_

_...“_ _I am only letting you go because I know how terribly painful it is to love someone so dearly and tenderly, in the same way he can only ever love someone els_ _e. ”_ **_It is so much more painful to never have a second chance, Gen._ **

_...My ship sails for the Kingdom of Superalloys tomorrow and all I could think of is how_ _I am now halfway to my return to you_ _._ **_Then why didn’t you?_ **

-

-

“Suika,” Senku calls out before she wanders off getting lost in the bright booths that line the festival avenue, “Can you do something for me?”

She bounds back to where he and Tsukasa were about to enter a hotel and book a room, “Suika can, of course!”

“I’m gonna let you borrow this notebook, okay?”

Suika’s eyes are wide with awe and a little bit of horror, “Are you sure, Senku-nii? This is…”

“It’s alright,” Senku tells her with a gentle smirk, “I know you’ll be careful with it.”

She accepts the notebook with some hesitation, “Okay…”

Senku opens it to a certain page he’s already marked with lines. “See here, where I underlined some words? Can you ask people around what they think it means and write them down here?”

“Lily of the Nile, asters, daisies… these are flowers Senku-nii?”

“Hm. Flowers have a language of their own, Suika. They can be used to send messages. Hm. Maybe it will help us find Asagiri Gen,” Tsukasa explains.

“Oooohhh,” the girl says, understanding dawning on her face, “Okay!” And there she goes, hopping around excitedly down the street.

“Be back before midnight, Suika,” Senku manages to shout before she totally disappears.

They are silent for a few minutes before Tsukasa speaks up again. “Hm. I take it you have a lead of your own to follow,” he says, “So I will be the one following after the girl.”

Senku cackles at Tsukasa’s deduction. “If you know, then why are you still here?”

The larger man only frowns at him before leaving his and Suika’s luggage behind for Senku to take up to their rooms. “Hm,” he says, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“How can I, you’re taking all the stupid with you,” Senku rolls his eyes at him before Tsukasa too disappears down the street.

Right. Time to check-in these bags and find this Lorenzo guy.

-

-

**Notes about** ~~Flower Meanings~~ ~~Florogr~~ **Floriography**

by: _Suika_

1\. Lily of the Nile

\- Secret love

_\- Beautiful flower, purple in color, not native in the city. Mr. Painter must have imported it? The meaning probably shows that he didn’t want his feelings to be known..._

2\. Asters

\- Love, fidelity, thinking of you

_\- Pretty and simple. It’s cute, like a little crush!_

3\. Daisies

\- Loyal love

_\- There are many of these in Japan! I will have to pick some for Gen-nii when he comes back. Maybe he’ll like it?_

4\. Peach blossoms

\- Means “I am your captive”

_\- Also brought from somewhere else, said the old lady who sells flowers. Mr. Painter is being more obvious._

5\. Fleur-de-lis

\- Burning fire

_\- Found in Furans? Franz? Flower aunty said they are expensive..._

6\. Camellias

\- Red camellias mean “a flame in my heart”, pink camellias mean “longing for you”

7\. Forget-me-nots

\- True love and faithfulness

8\. Gardenias

\- Sweet love, _can also mean “you’re lovely”?_

9\. Primroses

\- Means “I can’t live without you”

_\- Mr. Painter gets braver and braver I think. I wonder why Gen-nii said no? I think Mr. Painter really liked him and Gen-nii may have liked him too..._

10\. Tulips

\- Love and passion

_\- Flower aunty from another store said that tulips are the ultimate expression of love. Tsu-nii agrees, he said it was known even in the past. Mr. Painter wasn’t really hiding his feelings anymore… I wonder how Gen-nii felt..._

11\. Zinnia

\- Thinking always of a dear loved one, even if they’re far away

12\. Sweet Peas

\- Goodbye, leaving someone behind

_\- Perfect flowers for saying goodbye. This is really sad._

13\. Irises

\- Friendship

_\- Oh, Gen-nii..._

14\. Jonquils

\- “Affection is returned” and “love me”

_\- I asked flower aunty what Jonquils are and she showed me some pictures that she drew. She said they are also called daffodils and they are very pretty. I’m glad Gen-nii didn’t give Mr. Painter jonquils. Sorry Mr. Painter._

15\. Violets

\- Faithfulness, let’s take a chance

_\- I will have to ask Mirai to prepare violets when we come back. I think the flower is perfect for both Senku-nii and Gen-nii. Gen-nii, we will find you I promise. Please help us take you home._

-

-

“What is it?” Tsukasa asks when Suika stays silent long after she’d finished writing down the meaning of the last flower.

The girl just shakes her head, gathering her knees to her chest as she watches the night parade passing by on the street below. After several long moments, she finds the courage to speak up.

“Tsu-nii,” Suika begins hesitantly, “If you know someone loved you very much, you wouldn’t leave them behind, won’t you?”

Tsukasa looks at the small blonde girl still curled up against the edge of the roof, Gen’s notebook open on her lap, crushed to her chest with the say she’s sitting. The ladies from the flower shops were all endeared by Suika, their flirting attempts on her stoic guardian not lost on him either. The result is the multitude of flowers that now surround the girl. He will have to teach her how to dry and preserve them like he did with Mirai so many years ago.

He knows it’s not about the flowers and the message they sent though. It doesn’t take much to put two and two together - the flowers, Gen’s notebook, Senku’s separation from them in the Kingdom of Arts.

“Hm. Normally, I will not,” he begins, “And nothing will stop me from being at my loved one’s side.”

“But?”

“But sometimes, people need to stay away. Sometimes, what they love most, is also something that hurts them.”

“Oh…” Suika says softly before she descends into another pensive silence. She blinks at the people dancing in the street below her. Friends, lovers, strangers, all enthralled by the beauty of the night. She can see why Gen-nii chose to stay in this place - it’s beautiful, exciting, and exhilarating like what Senku-nii always says.

But Suika only feels lonely. The people she loved, except for Senku-nii and Tsu-nii, aren’t here. She wonders if Gen-nii also felt that way. She wonders if Gen-nii felt that way in the Kingdom of Science, too, and feels a little hurt and a little disappointed that Gen-nii didn’t stay at home even if… even if…

“But we loved him, didn’t we?” she says, her voice a little wet with unshed tears before it dips, going really quiet. “Didn’t we love him enough?”

Tsukasa sighs before he sits down beside her. “Love is different for many people, Suika,” he explains, “But very often, love also makes people irrational and impulsive. Hm. Maybe the love Asagiri Gen felt was very strong so it hurt him very strongly, too. Even if we loved him enough, if his love was even greater than that, then we can’t save him from the pain he was going through. Hm. I’m guessing that leaving was the only way he knew to make it stop.”

Suika takes in his words before she nods, “He really loved Senku-nii very much, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Tsukasa answers without hesitation. He’s seen it after all, from the very beginning when Gen lied to him about Senku all those years ago. It was still tiny then, rough and malformed, twisted into admiration and extortion. But Tsukasa isn’t stupid, there’s a reason why he’s Senku’s preferred combatant despite the history of murder between them.

“Then we’ll just have to love Gen-nii even more than that!” Suika says, looking up to him, bright eyes glinting in the lantern lights, wide with determination.

This time, Tsukasa does laugh and indulges himself to ruffle Suika’s hair. “That, little melon, would be good but unnecessary,” he says, looking wistfully to where he can see the rest of the world beyond Florence’s bright lights, “Not anymore. Hm.”

-

-

The gallery is quiet, empty, people preferring to spend the night in the revelry outside. Senku is grateful that it is open at least. He’d much prefer the stillness of the empty building than the chaos of people celebrating only they know what.

He doesn’t take long to find what he wants to see. A masterpiece of the caliber he’s looking for can only be displayed where it belongs, at the heart of the art exhibit. When Senku lays eyes on it, he has to remind himself to breathe.

_156,800,916 seconds_

Four years, eleven months, nineteen days, nineteen hours, forty-eight minutes and thirty-six seconds after he took that first step away from their home, Ishigami Senku sees Asagiri Gen again.

He is beautiful, even as he is turned away from the observer, looking down at his hands filled with flowers, the same ones listed in the notebook. He’d grown his hair it seems, as the white of it pools against his bare arm before cascading further down. The length of his black hair is tucked daintily behind his ear, the strands of it cover most of his bare chest and shoulder, showing just enough to be a tease.

His eyes are sparkling with the mirth of someone who knows a secret, lips curled in a mysterious smile, fondness dripping from his expression as he cradles the multitude of blossoms scattered around him in the canvas. The new Mona Lisa, it would seem.

“Or a post-Stone Era Helen of Troy,” a voice pipes up from the shadows, making Senku jump.

“Ah, I didn’t realize I was talking out loud,” he says, trying to hide the tremor in his voice.

The man steps further into the light, coming closer to the masterpiece he had created, eyes full of longing and undeniable love. Ah, so this is the famous Lorenzo. Senku can see how Gen could be attracted to him. He’s handsome, tall, lithe, draping clothes belying the strength obvious enough in the way he moves.

But it’s the eyes that convince Senku, because they are the same crimson that his are. The realization is uncomfortable and unwanted. Gen could have easily loved this man, the thought of it sending fire through his nerves and cold dread down his spine.

“So,” Senku says, clearing his throat, delegating his thoughts to the back of his brain, as far away from his voice as possible, “Who is the lucky specimen? A lover?”

Lorenzo gives a hollow chuckle, as if the thought of it was too absurd to even consider. “Nothing of the sort,” he says, “Merely a muse, once here and now gone.”

“You painted him too perfectly to be merely a muse.”

“Ah, so you can tell, can’t you?” Lorenzo retorts, his eyes now scanning Senku the way a predator might. It raises his defenses faster than hearing Why-man’s voice over the radio ever did. When he sees Senku’s eyes, he blinks, a small depreciative smile on his face.

“Tell me,” Lorenzo says, looking back forlornly at Gen’s portrait, “Is he well, Mr. Scientist?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Senku bites back quickly, too quickly for it to be dismissed as mere confusion.

“So even now you deny him,” Lorenzo tuts, disapproving, “Good that he remains distant to both of us then, if your coming here is any indication.”

Fury rises in Senku’s chest, an emotion he’s hardly had to deal with. But the combination of the shock of seeing Gen so lovingly and gorgeously portrayed, meeting the man he had spent a year with and who _loved_ him, hearing the accusation that Senku could even deny Gen _anything-_

“You don’t know me,” Senku almost growls at the artist.

Lorenzo laughs, mocking and loud. “I do not know you? _Please._ I know too much about you, more than I could have ever cared for in this lifetime,” he scoffs, bitter and resentful, “You are all Asagiri ever talked about. And yet, here you are, keeping your distance even from a mere portrait of the man who loved you.”

_Loved_. The word stung, more than Senku ever cared to acknowledge. _I loved him, too,_ Stanley had whispered to him months ago after bringing him the news of Gen’s untimely demise. _Loved,_ as if Senku had ever enjoyed being the object of Gen’s affections openly and had the chance to give it back in turn. _Too,_ as if Senku had been the first when he had not realized that the hollow in his chest was from the absence of Asagiri Gen in his life until it threatened to become permanent.

“What am I saying?” Lorenzo continues, unmindful of Senku’s emotional turmoil, “He would love no one but you.” He looks at Senku, cold and disgusted, “Once I had accepted that perhaps the man who saved the world was truly worthy of Asagiri Gen’s heart. But now I see that I am to be… disappointed.”

“You talk as if you knew him, or what we’ve gone through, or what he means-”

“I’ve seen enough,” Lorenzo mocks, interrupting Senku’s tirade, as he walks back to the shadows of his gallery, “Enough to know that you are incredibly undeserving of him all the same. I’m glad at least, that I get to keep a part of him to myself, unlike you, _Mr. Scientist_.”

-

-

**Entry No. 14** \- _March 22, 5752_

 _Investigator:_ Ishigami Senku

 _Associate Investigators:_ Detective Suika and Shishio Tsukasa

**Question** : If, in the statement stated by Asagiri Gen (henceforth known as _The Subject_ ) which goes: “ _I am now halfway to my return to you_ ,” there is an intent to return to Japan, why did _The Subject_ do the exact opposite?

**Facts** :

  1. _The Subject_ had the intention of returning and completing a circumnavigation of the new world, basing on the entry dated _June 8, 5749_.
  2. _The Subject_ had reached the western coast of the Americas as is also his last sighting according to accounts by one Stanley Snyder.
  3. _The Subject_ had attempted to complete his circumnavigation independently by using a post-Stone World aircraft to reach the Kingdom of Aluminum, the last Kingdom he had yet to visit.
  4. _The Subject_ did NOT reach the Kingdom of Aluminum. Instead, his aircraft was found with a broken engine of unknown etiology due to waterlogging and an absent pilot.
  5. _The Subject_ had mentioned no indication of rescinding his return to Japan despite the circumstances stated above. And yet, without any means of transportation that can only be provided by the Kingdom of Corn, it would be nigh impossible for _The Subject_ to cross the Pacific Ocean.



**Conclusion** : On the basis of the final fact, _The Subject_ is still in the American continents. _The Subject_ may have off record intended to rescind his intention to return to his home country in the midst of his journey. However this is impossible to discern on the basis of writing and human interaction alone. As to the question of _why_ , further investigation as recommended below may be needed.

**Recommendations** : Further research needed with particular focus on the time spent by _The Subject_ in Northern America, particularly the Kingdom of Corn. Suspicious wording used in the last entry of The Notebook may point out clues further regarding this investigation.

_Senku’s Personal Notes_ : Where are you Gen? What did we do to make you run away? What did I do? I just. I need to know. So I can fix it. Please.

-

-

-

-

-

_September 1, 5749_

_My dearest Senku-chan,_

_..._ ~~ _Our old friend Stan_~~ _!_ **_He’s an asshole._ **

**_No, he is not, what the hell Mentalist?_ **

_H_ ~~_e's still beautifully smug as always_ ~~ _, claiming Xeno had known I booked a ship to Brazil. They...  
_

_...whatever I want! I told you I had toured the US before right? It_ _f eels so much like a homecoming _ _that, as you would say,_ _this excites me_ _._

_I can only_ _wish to know what it would feel like to come home to you_ _. Maybe someday I'll stop thinking about it and enjoy these moments of my life, too._ **_Don’t_ **

-

-

**Things I hate about Asagiri Gen:**

  1. That he left and never came back even though he could have _any time he wanted._
  2. That he admits that he could have fallen in love with an asshole like Lorenzo who is a menace.
  3. That he thinks Snyder is beautiful when all the fucker does is inhale toxic fumes and be smug and aggressive and mean.
  4. That he knew, from the very start that he loved me and still kept it to himself like the idiot that he is.
  5. That he never entertained the possibility that there was even a 1mm chance of me reciprocating. _What did I ever do to make you doubt that Gen, you asshole-_



-

-

“You don’t really mean that, do you?”

Senku snaps the notebook closed in a fit of panic. He rises to his feet, crimson staining his cheeks at having been caught being petty and angry when normally he would have better control of his emotional state.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that you damn beast!” he snaps at Tsukasa before he stomps away from their camp.

Tsukasa only gives a shrug in response to Suika’s questioning stare. She sighs, putting down the preserved flowers she was in the middle of arranging.

“Suika will go after him,” she grumbles.

-

-

-

-

-

_September 14, 5749_

_Dearest Senku,_

_..._

_September 21, 5749_

_Dearest Senku,_

_...in Xeno’s astronomy tower and caught a little bit of a cold. Good thing_ ~~ _Stanley_~~ **_can rot_** _found me in the morning. Some of the Americans have taken turns checking on me and feeding me soup._

_...I wonder, Senku-chan, if I sent word to the Kingdom of Science ( the REAL one) would you and the rest come running on my behalf? Like what you did last time? _ **_Always._ **

-

-

**_do for_ **

**Things ~~to~~** ~~**make**~~ **Asagiri Gen when he comes back:**

**_Make/Build:_ **

  1. Cola. Lots of it.
  2. Ramen. The good kind with wheat noodles. ( _Note:_ Ask Francois.)
  3. A playground? For time with the kids.
  4. A portable GPS because the idiot gets lost easily.
  5. **Whatever he fucking wants** , I already told him I would.
  6. An _amusement park_ apparently.
  7. Find a way to make a trip around the world possible if he still wants it. **_I want to see this world with you, Gen._**
  8. Reiterate **NUMBER 5**.
  9. Impress upon his mind to believe that I would do anything, _anything_ , to get him back.
  10. **ANYTHING GEN, I MEAN IT**.



-

-

-

-

-

_October 10, 5749_

_Dearest Senku-chan,_

_...Senku-chan, this is_ _the first time I’ve heard your voice in two years. _

_..._ _My love, my love, my love. I miss you so much_ _._

_I miss you so so much._

_...I promise I will thrive, too. This is my home now, the world you built. I promise I will be happy too._ **_Where are you, Gen?_ **

-

-

~~Asagiri~~ ~~Mentalist~~ **_Gen_** ,

I will be honest with you.

The moment I heard your voice come through the phone, I thought it was a dream. Two years of counting the seconds since you walked away. Two years of waking up and thinking, today is the day. Gen will come back today.

Everything else around me moved on but I didn’t and it frustrated me so much. I had an entire village to run, I had years and years of science to teach, I had so much technology to rediscover. I had my friends. I had a wife.

But your departure tipped the scales too steeply that I found myself stumbling more often than not. So I started counting, every day, every waking moment, even in my sleep, even as I pretend to continue to live normally.

That day, when I heard your voice, the world shifted again. It felt righted, like someone took the earth and pushed back into the right degree of axis. It felt hollow from the absence of you, but whole in the comfort of your voice. Knowing that you are out there, safe, sound, still crazy, still stupid...

Do you remember that feeling, when we got out of Soyuz II, surrounded by our friends, our feet firmly stepping on terrestrial ground, held still by gravity?

That was how I felt, hearing your voice.

It wasn’t that the connection was bad, it was because I was crying on the other end of the line. It wasn’t that we didn’t have time, it’s that I was never giving anyone else the chance to talk to you. It’s that I was selfish and kept you to myself, like maybe I should have done years ago.

Gen. That was the moment I realized I had been a fool. I had been trying to figure out how to close the hole you left behind when you started your journey, getting more and more frustrated when I became less successful with each try.

Then I heard your voice again after two years and then it suddenly became clear to me what I had to do to fix everything.

I had to get you back. I have to get you back.

My heart and mind are the same this time. I will find you. And this time, I won’t let you go.

Please. Let me find you. That’s all I ask for now.

Yours,

Ishigami Senku

-

-

-

-

-

_February 22, 5750_

_Dearest Senku-chan,_

_...I don’t think I can bear hearing your voice and not_ _immediately ask ~~Stanley~~ to fly me over to Japan_ _._ **_I wish you did. I was waiting. Every second. Every day._ **

_..._ ~~ _Stanley has asked me if I wanted to fly across the many states, see the sights, and help the rebuilding efforts when spring comes_ _._~~ **_I would have done this with you, many times over._ **

_I think I will take him up on that offer, if only to be away from the stupid phone. You don’t have to worry about me, my love._ _I can take care of myself. _

_Until I can see you again,_ **_liar_ **

_Asagiri Gen_

-

-

“Senku!” Chrome hurriedly calls out to him in his hut where he now lives alone, divorced in mutual understanding for the second time in the light of his realizations from one fateful phone call. The assistant chief is still panting from the sprint he just did when he comes to the door.

“Ah, what is it?” he asks lazily. Listless, irritated, single mindedly focused on one goal: dragging Asagiri Gen back home after ghosting him via Xeno for months and months now, _the asshole._

“Senku,” Chrome says again, voice pitching with emotion and this time Senku actually faces him in confusion, “It’s a call. From America.”

In an instant, Senku is out of the hut and into the communications hub grabbing the telephone almost carelessly when he’s close enough.

“What-” he begins only to be cut off by Xeno the asshole.

“Dr. Senku,” he greets, voice rough across the connection, _tired,_ “Stanley is on his way to Japan. He will be arriving at around 1100H, your time tomorrow.”

Snyder heading to Japan? The asshole would never make the effort of crossing the ocean for a courtesy call. That can only mean one thing.

“So _he_ finally decides to come home, huh?”

Xeno’s breath hitches on the other side of the line and Senku worries for a minute that the connection is cut off but the american scientist’s voice comes through the line again.

“He…” Xeno hesitates, so unlike him that Senku almost laughs, “He’ll tell you the news himself.”

Without another word, Xeno ends the call. Senku can’t stop himself from grinning from ear to ear. Chrome picks up on his mood easily, a smile mirroring Senku’s appearing on his own face. “Is he…?” the assistant chief asks excitedly.

“Ah,” Senku tells him, “This is getting me excited.”

-

-

-

-

-

_May 2, 5750_

_Senku-_

-

-

“Senku-nii, there’s an entry here about a National Park in-”

“No.”

“But-?”

“I said no, Suika.”

“If you keep talking to her like that-”

“It’s okay, Tsu-nii, really!”

“...”

“You know you’re wrong, Senku.”

“...sorry, Suika.”

“...okay. So are we going to-”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“...okay.”

-

-

-

-

-

_August 19, 5750_

_Senku,_

_It’s been a few more months since I last wrote here. Right now we’re in what used to be Louisiana. I can’t sleep,_ _the place gives me the creeps_ _. ~~Stanley~~ has not stopped laughing at my reaction to everything that moves. _ **_Gen is not in Louisiana_ **

_...Said something about,_ ~~_I get to keep you for a whole year anyway_~~ _._ **_What a fucking asshole._ **

_...That’s alright isn’t it? To be happy that someone commits to an effort because they know it’s what you want. I feel… wanted, Senku._ _Important_ _._ **_You are important. You are 10 billion percent important_ **

_...I still miss you though._ _You are my best friend after all_ _._ **_And you are mine._ **

-

-

**Things I** ~~love~~ **APPRECIATE about Asagiri Gen:**

  1. That he was so easily swayed to choose the Kingdom of Science with just ramen and the promise of cola.
  2. That he managed to trick both Tsukasa and Hyouga even though it didn’t last long.
  3. That he can understand what I want him to do without me even saying anything.
  4. That _I_ can understand what he’s trying to do without him saying anything.
  5. That he built me an observatory.
  6. That he saved my life multiple times indirectly.
  7. That his schemes align with mine. That he helps me achieve what I want. That he manipulates people, not for himself, but for my goals.
  8. That he can trick Xeno’s polygraph machine like the damn genius that he is.
  9. That he risked his life infiltrating the Kingdom of Corn.
  10. That he-



-

-

“You could just say love like a normal person.”

“Do you _have_ to keep doing that?” Senku snaps at Tsukasa who suddenly appeared at the river where he’d walked to after being unable to rest even when they made camp.

The man shrugs, uncaring. “Hm. Suika asked me to call for you, it’s time for breakfast.”

“Breakfast?”

“ _Yes_. You missed dinner _and_ sleep. _Again_.”

Senku sighs. True enough, the soft light of dawn is suffused all over the trees, brighter now that the sun is higher in the sky. He hadn’t even noticed time pass by. Suika would be 10 billion percent disappointed and angry.

“I’ll make it up to her, alright.”

“You could start by admitting that the reason we worked our way across the globe is because you actually _love_ Asagiri Gen and not running away from it like a coward.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Senku says grumpily as he walks past Tsukasa. Only the man didn’t let him run away this time.

Tsukasa, beast of a man that he is, grabs Senku by his wiry shoulders and holds him there in front of him.

“Hm. Tell me, Senku, why then did we travel all this way?”

Senku scowls at him, unable to escape from the sheer difference of their physical prowess. “You were the one who said it, we are going to find the damn mentalist.”

“We are, hm,” Tsukasa concedes, “But why are we trying so hard when Gen obviously doesn’t want to be found?”

“What?! Because he’s stupid! And reckless! And thinks for some reason that we don’t want him back home when all I’ve been thinking about is-”

Senku cuts himself off, angry, embarrassed, and frustrated.

Tsukasa cocks an eyebrow at him. “Hm. Yes? Go on?”

“It’s nothing,” the scientist sulks trying to shrug off Tsukasa’s massive hands. This time, he gives, knowing Suika is probably pacing around waiting for them at camp. Speaking of Suika…

“Suika was afraid that we didn’t show Gen enough how much we loved him. Hm,” Tsukasa tells Senku’s retreating back before he can get out of earshot, “I am of the opinion that it was only one person who didn’t do exactly that. Yes. Hm. Especially considering he still wouldn’t admit to it even now.”

Senku gives him a dirty look and walks away without another word.

-

-

-

-

-

_Sorry I was drunk, won’t happen again._ **_Who let you drink?_ **

_Gen_

-

-

“ _Shenku-schwwwaamnnn~_ ”

Senku turns around to find Gen, inebriated and absolutely wasted. Knowing the mentalist with his poor alcohol tolerance, it probably took only a single shot, maybe two, to get him drunk. But this level of intoxication? _Damn._ He must really be out to celebrate defeating Why-man, he was one of the chosen three to actually be there after all.

“How much have you had to drink, mentalist?” he asked, amused.

Gen blinks at him, grinning widely. He lifts a hand, tries to indicate a measure using his thumb and index finger. “Only _thiiiiiiiiiish_ much,” he says giggling. His fingers are touching.

“That’s not a lot,” Senku points out.

“Nope!” Gen agrees cheekily. “So I am absholute,” he sways dangerously, Senku grabs his arm to steady him and Gen stumbles forward with a grin, “Absholutely…” he _hics_ of all things, “Shober.”

“No way,” Senku grins at him, “You are totally sloshed.”

“Uh-huh,” Gen says dreamily, “I mean, nuuhhh-uhhhh.” He ends with a giggle, plopping down right beside Senku. He leans his head on Senku’s shoulder without warning, but Senku accepts the physical contact without complaint because it’s Gen. It’s even weirder to shove him away.

“I’m very appy- _haaaay_ , Senku-chwaaaan,” Gen giggles after a few moments.

“Yeah?” Senku hums, sipping on his cup of actual aged wine, Francois’ latest magic.

“Yup! You finally saved eeeeeeveeerryyoneee,” Gen gushes, spreading his arms wide, almost knocking him off balance again.

Senku chuckles as he steadies him with a hand to the small of his back, “Is that why _you’re_ happy?”

Gen cradles his head in his palm as he looks at Senku, unabashed sincerity belied by the vivid rosiness of his cheeks. “Well, you’re happy aren’t you?”

Senku blinks, too distracted by Gen’s words and the trace of crimson on his face that he maybe wants to touch. So he does, by poking Gen on the cheek until he backs off and falls flat on his ass.

The mentalist blinks at him for a few moments, as if surprised by the sudden change in elevation before he grins evilly, the kind he wears when he’s up to his schemes, “Awwww, are you flustered Senku-chwaaan?”

“Go away, Gen,” Senku huffs, unwilling to play this game until his heartbeat returns to normal. The drink is clouding his mind clearly, as with Gen. _Obviously_.

The mentalist laughs, picking himself up with better grace than he did in the past few minutes. “Senku-chwaaan, the meanie! I only wanted to celebrate with you!” Gen pouts as he looks down on his pants while he brushes himself off before waddling away, “Fine then! I need more drinks~! Francois-chwaaan!”

Senku watches him walk away on steady light steps, as if he was dancing, and soon enough the mentalist was dragged away by an excited Ukyo to dance near the fire, the hunt for a drink forgotten. He tells himself that it’s fine, Gen should have his fun. So why did he feel a lot like he pushed Gen away much much further than he thought he did?

-

-

“...and, this is where we found the crashed plane,” Xeno presents to them dispassionately.

“What’s this then?” Senku asks as he watches Suika skipping closer to the crashed plane surrounded by flowers and random gifts.

Snyder sighs. “The people wanted to make a memorial. Gen was an important part of rebuilding America, after all.”

“Is,” Senku corrects absently.

“Is…?” Snyder asks in confusion while Xeno scoffs. “It’s shameful for a man of science to deny the facts, Dr. Senku,” Xeno scowls at him.

Senku only rolls his eyes and walks closer to where Suika is circling the plane, Tsukasa doing the same in the opposite direction. “Well?” he asks when they come back together at the front.

“I don’t see anything they haven’t already detailed for us,” Tsukasa says after a long silence, Suika shaking her head beside him.

Senku scowls at them. If there’s anyone who should be most doubtful of the americans’ accounts, it should be the three of them.

“Well, there _has_ to be something-”

“Senku,” Tsukasa cuts him off, “We did just arrive. A break would be good.”

The truth is, they passed the one year mark of their departure from Japan a little over a week ago, with nothing to show for it other than Senku’s unwavering belief that Gen is still alive, as staunch as his refusal to admit any love he has for the missing mentalist.

Frankly, Tsukasa is tired. _Suika_ is tired. Not of the search, not of the travelling, but of Senku’s incredulous denial and the bare fact that they have had nothing to prove Gen did survive the crash.

Whatever Gen did, he covered up his tracks really well. The only way to find him now is to figure out where in this entire god damned world he managed to slink into and that could be anywhere else by now. And if a man wanted to start over and live anew? Well, Tsukasa can respect that.

Senku, _clearly_ , has different ideas.

He pushes past Tsukasa with an angry glare to investigate the fallen plane on his own. “You go and rest then, I’ll keep working from here.”

“Senku-nii…”

“There is not even a 1mm chance that I am wrong, alright? Go. I’ll see you later.”

Tsukasa sighs, taking Suika by the hand to lead her back to where Dr. Xeno and Stanley Snyder had positioned themselves waiting for their guests, leaving Senku behind to his tinkering.

-

-

-

-

-

_April 9, 5751_

_Senku,_

_..._ _We never would have met, you and I. _ _You would be dismissive of my career and I would never have met someone like you. Maybe in some event like official appearances or something? But I doubt we would have even held conversation._ **_I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way._ **

_...But New York has taught me one thing today. It’s that_ _some things are meant to happen no matter how we downplay that tragedy. _

_I was always meant to live a life separate from yours_ _._ _I know what I’m going to do now_ _. I ~~hope~~_ _ ~~Stanley will understand~~._ **_Why do you keep writing about him damn it_**

_Senku, in this life at least,_ _I know I have loved you_ _._ **_And I, you._ **

_But this time for sure, I also know what it means_ _to live in this world where everything reminds me of you_ _._ **_You said live, Gen, you’re still here, I know it._ **

-

-

**Entry No. 32** \- _September 5, 5752_

 _Investigator:_ Ishigami Senku

**Question** : Would Asagiri Gen have met Ishigami Senku in the pre-Petrification Era?

**Facts** :

  1. Ishigami Senku abhorred the mentalist’s choice of career and frequently mocked his book. (see also: Ishigami Senku was a close-minded science idiot.)
  2. If the world had not turned to stone, Ishigami Senku would have already been well on his way into university, or graduate school, maybe even space. ( _Note:_ He _has_ been to space. With Asagiri Gen, no less. Why is that?!)
  3. There was no way Ishigami Senku would have _willingly_ watched a magic show or whatever. Asagiri Gen, however, would most definitely be intrigued by the capabilities of science. With that said,
  4. The chance of meeting would have been very low. But it was there nonetheless.
  5. It would only take one meeting for Ishigami Senku to be drawn to Asagiri Gen for the rest of his life.



**Conclusion** : Ishigami Senku and Asagiri Gen would have met in the old world, no question. It was only a matter of time - 3,700 years to be exact. Whether it was predetermined in theory, or inevitable due to past and hypothetical actions that would have taken place had the world not turned to stone, the chances of a meeting was not even 1mm impossible.

**Recommendations** : Application of the same principle theoretically ~~should have led~~ _should lead_ to that fated meeting. The difference between success and failure is in trying. And I have to keep trying. Until we’re both home. Anything less wouldn’t be a perfect 10 billion percent success.

_Senku’s Personal Notes:_ What do I know about you Gen. You’re lazy. There’s no way you would have committed to all this drama if the reason wasn’t good enough. And for that I will have to apologize. You’re selfish. You did this for yourself and I respect that, but how will you know now that things are different? That I’m different? You’re brilliant. You could have planned all this elaborate process on your own and frankly, it’s practically foolproof. The plane is swept clean of evidence, the surrounding area is free of people who might have borne witness to your survival. You’re talented. You could survive anywhere, you could charm people everywhere. That doesn’t narrow my choices at all and you knew that. You’re beautiful. You are. I wish I could tell you in person. I miss you. _Shit_ , I want to see you. Throw me a bone here Gen, damn it. You’re sentimental. If only because travel between this continent and Japan was impossible unless you asked Xeno, I would have believed you would have settled back in our country. So you’re here. But _where_. Somewhere special. Somewhere you could be at peace. Somewhere you could forget. Som **. . . .  
**

-

-

The graphite lead makes a crass line across the page as the hand that holds it goes slack and it falls to the sandy beach beside the rushing river. The sound is amplified in the shocked silence, the water’s gurgling like a rising wave, the chirping of the birds a triumphant chorus, the passing of the wind heard in the loud rustling of the leaves in the nearby trees.

“I know where he is,” Senku whispers in astonishment, softly amidst the loud quiet that suddenly overtook the riverbend.

His body soaks up the words, finally catching up to his brain and the gravity of the statement fully sinks its teeth into his heart.

Senku laughs, loud and triumphant - disbelieving.

“I know where he is,” he repeats, louder, voice breaking in the immensity of emotion and the force needed to hold back his tears.

He grins, unable to shake away the stunned disbelief that shakes his body with immeasurable relief and happiness, and takes off in the direction of Xeno’s Kingdom of Corn.

-

-

“Senku-nii?!”

“Calm down. Take deep breaths. Hm. What are you running around fo-”

“ _I know where he is._ ”

“You- what?!”

“Then let’s go! Tsu-nii, I already packed my bag you could-”

“No, sorry, sorry, I have to go alone, or else he’ll run away again and-”

“Slow down, Senku.”

“I have to-” _wheeze_ “I have to go. I have to do this. I have to tell him.”

“Hm. I understand.”

“Well, _Suika_ doesn’t! What if something happens to you, Senku-nii!”

“I’ll be safe, I promise. I asked Snyder to fly me as close as possible without alerting Gen. Just- Suika, I _promise,_ I’ll bring him back, okay? I promise we’ll go home together.”

“I- alright… Okay, Senku-nii. Sorry we couldn’t help you in the end…”

“What are you talking about? It’s because of you that I figured it out!”

“Suika did?”

“ _Yes._ I should have listened to you, Amazing Detective Suika. _Thank you._ ”

“Hm. I get it now.”

“Umm, Suika is still confused but she is very happy Senku-nii!!”

_Sweet full blown laughter before the pained rush of air as a chest is pinned down a teenager’s body_.

“You really shouldn’t lift her up like that again. Hm. She’s not a child anymore.”

“When did you grow up, kid, wow.”

_A giggle._ “Silly, Senku-nii! Be careful, promise?”

“I promise. You take care of her, alright?”

“Hm. As if I would do anything less. Hurry back so we can go home.”

“Yeah, yeah. This seriously excites me.”

-

-

-

-

-

“Jean! We have some leftover firewood from yesterday, the missus thought to give you some.”

“Ah, thank you, Marcus! Send Jenny my thanks as well.”

“No worries, we don’t really want a repeat of your disastrous first winter with us, now do we?”

He cringes for the show and gives a little laugh in embarrassment, “Of course! What a horrible way to be introduced to Canadian winters, I must say.”

“If you need more help, just let us know, eh? Need an extra hand with those?”

“No, it’s okay, I can handle it.” 

“You sure? It’s still a long way to your house.”

He laughs. “I’m sure! Thank you so much for the firewood!”

With a final wave at the kind lumberjack, ‘ _Jean Brouillard_ ’ as he calls himself now, continues his trek home to his cabin. The community is a tightly knit one, settling in one of the quieter corners of the Rocky Mountains near Lake Peyto. They build each house custom made for every resident who’d want to stay, help them settle down and acclimate, and most importantly, not ask pesky questions about one’s past.

So when he requested his home to be a little further from the rest, they understood. They gave him his privacy while still accepting him as a new neighbour and letting him into their lives.

It’s a new world, after all, that’s the philosophy adopted by the people who have settled here, and honestly, he could live with that. A fresh start and a new life. He muses on the past year and he draws closer to the clearing where the village built him his home. Maybe one day his dreams of gravity-defying green-tipped hair and vivid crimson eyes will fade away in time as well.

He blinks. The figure standing on the porch of his cabin doesn’t disappear.

Or not.

He doesn’t hesitate beyond the initial surprise, there’s no hiding his identity after all, the mismatched hair he’s had since waking in the stone world has seen to that. He can, however, ignore the ghost of his past standing outside his house.

Dropping the firewood in a corner, he doesn’t acknowledge the man frowning at him as though he was the one trespassing on other people’s property. When he finally opens his door, the unwelcome guest finally decides to speak.

"Are you really just going to ignore me?"

Yes, he thinks but doesn’t say, opening the door to his house and slams it shut. Though there isn’t crime in their community, each door is equipped with a chain lock to avoid getting unwanted bear visitors at night. He slides the chain shut before he leans back against the door and finally allows the shock to sink in and pull him down to the floor.

This has to be a dream, willing the pounding of his heart to calm down. There’s no way, he seethes, no way that the insane scientist would even drop his work now that he has all the time to rebuild science thoroughly, just to chase a ghost halfway across the globe. Yes, a dream, he must have passed out from helping with manual labor earlier that afternoon. That has got to be the only explanation-

"Gen," Senku calls out from the other side of the door.

_Ugh_. Not a dream then. He lets himself fall back on his mentalist ways. _What is Senku doing here?_ There must be a rational explanation for why he showed up here now, after so long of not seeing each other.

Is he needed back in the Kingdom of Science? He doesn't think so, otherwise Senku would have just sent Ryusui or Tsukasa to pick him up. Does he have another grand scheme that he needs a mentalist for? Surely in the sheer amount of people now available in the world there can be someone else Senku can bother.

This is a new life for Asagiri Gen. One free of the exact shadow that darkens his door right now.

"Gen," Senku tries again, "Please-"

"What do you want?" he cuts off Senku harshly.

"What do you mean?" Senku says, almost sounding genuinely confused. Gen snorts.

"You wouldn't be here if my services weren't needed," Gen sneers, "So just spit it out, then we can work from there."

"That's not-"

Gen changes tack. "I quite like my life here, you know," he says airily, "It has to be a pretty good offer to get me to take back my self-imposed death sentence."

"Is…" Senku hesitates for the first time since Gen has known him, "Is coming home not what you want Gen?"

He swallows the thick lump in his heart, forces the lie out of his mouth, "This is my home now, isn't it? There's nothing for me back in Japan."

"That's not true," Senku hisses out vehemently, "How could you even-"

How could he even what? Think that? Gen could already list down maybe three from the top of his head alone, all of them revolving around the very man outside his door right now.

Senku sighs, tired and frustrated, and Gen violently stamps down the natural instinct to soothe his worries.

"Gen, please open the door," Senku requests softly, "Let's talk. Please."

"You said please twice," Gen confusedly points out in the midst of his emotional conflict.

Senku chuckles, "I'd say it more than that if it'll make you open the door."

That's… not what he was expecting. In fact, this conversation is turning out to be his wildest dream and his worst nightmare simultaneously.

Gen huffs. Why does Senku have to find him anyway? He knew when he settled in Banff, there was no way Senku wouldn't figure it out eventually, all it would take was a little concentrated effort on his part. That still relied on the fact that Senku would be invested enough to send search parties out in the first place. And yet, against all odds Ishigami Senku himself is right here, on his doorstep, pleading, of all things.

He leans backs on the wooden door, his head making a muffled thump from the action. "Just…" he gives in softly, "Tell me why you're here Senku. Please."

There was a long silence from the other side of the door. Long enough that Gen feared he might just have hallucinated Senku on his doorstep after all.

"One hundred seventy-one million, six hundred thirty-two thousand, nine hundred fifty-four seconds," Senku says at length, voice full of melancholy.

"What?"

"I started counting the moment you took that first step away from," the cadence of Senku's voice hitches, "From me."

"From you," Gen parrots back dumbly.

"It's a part of my brain that hasn't left me alone since you left. Everybody else has already given up trying to convince me to stop - Taiju, Yuzuriha, Chrome… my ex-wives," Senku pauses as Gen's breath hitches in his throat, "The number's gone up another twenty-nine seconds just now."

"You… you're still counting?"

"Yes."

"Until when?"

"Until you're home."

"Senku," he says wetly as he tries to rein the tears in, " _This_ is home now."

"Is it?" the scientist challenges, "Then maybe I said it wrong. I won't stop counting until _I'm_ home."

Gen's breath freezes in his chest at the words because this can't be real. None of this is real.

"What are you saying?" he says a little desperately, a little raw.

“There’s ten billion things I could have done and _have_ done to settle down the restlessness that started when you left. But the only thing that could keep me sane enough was the same thing I did when I turned to stone, _count_. Because in the same way that I was sure that one day I would break free from the stone, I was sure that the only way to fix everything was for you to come back.”

“I’m not-” Gen’s voice pitches as the first tear falls. And then another. And another before he finally finds the determination to power through, “I’m _not_ going back Senku. This is my life now. Just. Go.”

“I know,” Senku says with that same sure way he does when he declares he’s going to win with science, “I know you wanted this, to spare yourself the pain of staying, but I came here to tell you that… That it’s not like that anymore.”

“There is _no_ benefit to me from staying,” Gen says harshly, “And there is nothing you can tell me to convince me otherwise. I’ve thought about this long and hard. In Ulaanbaatar, in Florence, in Casablanca, in _New York._ I’ve always been a selfish man, Senku, I just finally let me be myself.”

“And I’m saying that you can be selfish with me!” Senku retorts, raw and pleading, “Gen, _I’m sorry_. I'm sorry I ever made you feel that you aren't important or worthy or _loved._ I’m so sorry that I was an idiot for running away, for not holding on. But I am _not_ sorry for chasing after you. Because it’s _you_.”

“I’m _what?_ Useful? A crutch? A tool to use and throw away-”

“No!” Senku shouts, growling low and frustrated, “ _No,_ and do not ever say that again. Not when for the ten billion things without certainty in this world, the only thing I am sure of is _you._ That I want to come home to _you_.”

“Don’t lie, please, spare me your pity, I can’t-”

“Tell me Gen, when have I ever lied to you?”

“After years and years? Now this? How can I believe you?”

“You don’t have to, not now,” Senku pleads, “But please give me the chance to prove it to you. You know I can. You know that I want to. You _know_ that you want to.”

Gen is full on sobbing now, something he knows Senku can hear from the other side of the door. There is a soft tapping on the door, almost like a gentle knock. "Gen, please, let me see you."

"No."

"Please? Please, _please,_ don't let me do this to a wooden slab of cedar."

That, bizarrely, almost makes Gen laugh. But it was enough. He unlatches the chain and opens the door, stepping back to allow Senku in and turning away to go to his couch, unwilling to see Senku's face if it even has the slightest chance of this being some sick joke.

He hears the door close before rough-hewn hands grab him by the arms and turn him to face an achingly familiar face tainted with wet crimson eyes. Senku clamps both hands on his shoulders, his grip like a vice, dragging him closer.

"Hi," Senku says hoarsely, tears also streaming down his face in a reflection of Gen's own, the sincerity in them cannot be denied, not when Gen knows this man better than he knows himself sometimes. Even then Senku still manages to surprise him when he says, "I think I love you."

And it’s true. He means it. Gen cannot deny what he can see with his own eyes. His hands fly to his mouth on instinct as both of them fall to the floor with the weight of the confession.

He sobs, unbidden but this time, Gen also doesn't hold back the laugh bursting below his ribs, but it isn't cruel or unkind. It's a genuine mirth and sincere disbelief that only Senku could ever bring out, even five years and two maybe three equators' worth of miles between them.

"You _think?_ " he smiles in the face of Senku's coloring cheeks slowly matching up to the color of his gorgeous eyes.

"I-" he stammers, beautiful and exciting, "I'm not- I don't- I mean-"

Gen takes pity and shushes him with a finger to his lips. "That's too bad," he smiles, "Because I _know_ I love you."

He feels the instant Senku stops breathing, feels the way he sharply inhales, lips going slack in shock against the finger still pressed against his mouth. Gen can't help but smile. Years and years of knowing Senku and still he remains surprised by the depths he has yet to discover of this wonderful human being. Like what Senku is like in the face of love.

And for one very powerful and comforting moment, the reality drops that it's a side of the genius scientist he will truly get to discover, for real this time, and maybe, for the rest of their lives.

_God,_ Senku does love him.

The happiness is undeniable in his eyes, not when he's stopped himself from holding back, not when he can finally see Senku honest and bare, just like this, just for _him,_ Asagiri Gen. Not when his happiness is reflected so wantonly in those usually calculating crimson ones.

His own hands find purchase in Senku's cheeks where he is still looking at him in wonder and awe. Like he can’t believe the evidence before his eyes for once, unlike Gen who can’t deny the feelings of the man shocked silent before him now. Did Senku really think he would deny him even this? Truly laughable.

He pinches Senku’s cheek. “ _Ow!_ ”

“You owe me a lifetime supply of cola,” he starts.

Senku blinks before his lips curve into a smile even under Gen’s fingers. “Yes.”

“You’re going to talk with me about feelings instead of figuring it out on your own because you’re emotionally inept and romantically hopeless.”

“I mean, that makes both of us-” Gen pinches his cheek harder, “ _Ow! Gen!_ ”

“You’re going to build me an amusement park.”

Senku snorts. “Already on the list.”

“You have a _list?_ ”

Senku shuffles awkwardly as he rummages through his pack before pulling out a familiar leather bound notebook. Gen flushes, remembering the honesty he had marked in those pages but Senku’s face is a mirror of his cheeks as he hands the notebook to him. Curiosity aroused, he flips through the pages. There are new entries now, almost all of which done in Senku's handwriting. Lines have been underlined and crossed out in his letters. There are lists too, as Senku had said.

_Things to tell Asagiri Gen. Things to do for Asagiri Gen. Notes on Floriography. Things I appreciate about Asagiri Gen._

“You vandalized my notebook,” Gen says finally, amused.

Senku squawks in indignation before he turns around and Gen knows the naked look of love and affection is plain on his face. A mirror of the one he wore when he first held the notebook that night, so many seconds ago, but this time open and honest. For the first time in a long while, Gen sees Senku struck speechless and it is because of _him_. God, if the thought isn’t exhilarating.

"I won’t stop until we’re home," Gen reads off the last entry, the final line of it marked by an errant line, "Well, Senku-chan, are we home now?"

Senku moves fast, but not fast enough that Gen couldn't see the way his face crumples before bringing them together into another tight embrace. Even without that, Gen can still feel the way Senku's frame relaxes and melts, the same way he does as he buries his face in the junction where Senku's neck meets his shoulder.

"Yes. You _are_ home," Senku whispers, pressing a tremulous kiss into his hair, like trying to leave the imprint of truth into it, “ _I love you._ ”

Gen smiles.

171,633,979 seconds.

Ishigami Senku and Asagiri Gen are finally home.

-

-

“What’s this?”

“Oh. It’s a gift. From Kaseki.”

“...”

“You don’t have to. I mean, we don’t have to. It’s just-”

“Just what?”

“I told him I’d only open it if I was sure.”

“And are you?”

“Of you? Gen, _always._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 15K FOR SENKU'S CHAPTER?? REALLY??
> 
> formatting this was a fucken nightmare so lmao i didn't have the time or patience to post-edit this, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO UPDATE AND LET YOU GUYS READ IT. hahahaha. idk if it's satisfying enough for everyone, im just really excited to post this lmao.
> 
> with that said, knowing that i let you guys feel ~feelings~ is so validating so thank you!!!! so!!!! much!!! to everyone who read this, kudos-ed, commented, recced it (i see you tumblr and twt people!!) i love you all!!! <3
> 
> honestly, i really think i could've done better so lemme just say that this is getting me more fired to write and maybe write more dr. stone fics too. i already got a few concepts drafted on my phone. *heart eyes*
> 
> hope you enjoyed this monster chapter!! thank you so much for reading!! please kudos if you enjoyed and feel free to scream at me if you'd like. i'd still love you all! <3
> 
> p.s. im not over how petty senku is, crossing out all mentions of stanley ahahahaha

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! click the kudos if you enjoyed and a comment would more than lovely and i will love you forever and ever and ever! <3
> 
> promise i'll come back and write more dr. stone soon! <3
> 
> \-----------
> 
> FANART 😍: [tloraxin-ssi](https://twitter.com/tloraxinx/status/1273689649643311104) | [tloraxin-ssi](https://twitter.com/tloraxinx/status/1273694769768624128) | [anmitsude](https://twitter.com/anmitsude/status/1274380989582569472) || tysm for loving this fic and making art for it, i am super blessed 🥺
> 
> Some writing behind-the-scenes: [Chapter 1](https://minitala.tumblr.com/post/621534680620171264/notes-on-a-page-before-the-farewell-ch1) | [Chapter 2](https://minitala.tumblr.com/post/623774234395787264/notes-on-a-page-before-the-farewell-chapter-22)
> 
> LINKS: [tumblr](https://minitala.tumblr.com/) | [writing twt (new)](https://twitter.com/meowthtalksalot/) | [ccat](https://curiouscat.qa/gwiyomihoshi) | [fic masterlist](https://minitala.tumblr.com/fics)


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